What were some of the things your narco-path said when you spoke the truth

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#1 Apr 9 - 10PM

neverlookback

What were some of the things your narco-path said when you spoke the truth

I will start with a few:

You must be on the rag
You have multiple personalities
You are a very unstable, depressed person all the time
You forgot to take your mental medication today
Are you always this depressed
Dont behave like a cunt to me, save that for your husband

Ok so now I KNOW the truth and SPEAK the truth so that means as I just told someone else on this board that I am "ON THE RAG", gosh ladies, we all must be on the rag. We are on one perpetual rag 24-7. Dont you love how they reverse everything when they are confronted with the truth to make us seem crazy?

It gets even funnier, I would go off after our conversation and actually believe all these things, well that really isnt funny, its pretty sick actually but I would think OMG, I really am unstable, no wonder he stays with the OW, she must be the stable one, maybe I am a depressed person, OF course I was DEPRESSED when I was in contact with him, I am surprised I wasnt catatonic in a mental ward from exposure to him. Dee had contact with her x and in one breath he told her he missed her so much, and in another breath he was telling her to fuck off and that she was the cause of everything because of her mental hang ups. Geez, she was probably on the rag too I imagine, ha ha

Dont they come up with the funniest thing once we rip their mask off and see them for what they are? Lets see, I am a predator, I conned you, violated you, betrayed you And I will never speak the truth but would rather tell you it was YOU that caused me to be a disordered individual, when I met him I must have been on my period too, sorry I just find this part of their pathology very amusing

#2 Apr 11 - 4PM

onwithmylife

He threw

every vile name in the book at me, whore, slut, offering free sex on the internet on /Craigslist first come, first served, to use his exact words, now that is a FUNNY one if you knew me and then again if you do not know me, never did answer any questions I brought up, just an immediate barrage of name calling to deflect off himself so he would never have to look INWARD,hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

#3 Apr 11 - 4PM (Reply to #51)

deecbee

! This reminded me of

! This reminded me of something I always suspected my ex of. Trolling Craigslist for prostitutes. He found a picture of my friend on CL which he brought up to me (turns out a spammer stole her photos from her online album to lure ppl to a website) and all I could ask was, "wait, WHY are you on the erotic services section of Craigslist?" OT, just needed to get that out. Carry on.

#4 Apr 11 - 5PM (Reply to #52)

onwithmylife

DEECBEE- CHECK THIS ONE OUT

he sent me a copy he had printed of a Craigslist ad in the section' woman looking for men' OK, but with NO photo attached to it, underLINED WITH A RED PEN, all the parts he swore to GOD were ME, guess what it was not me and if he really had read it, he would have known I DID NOT write that ad, I called him on it through a letter on that and he never mentioned it again!!! WHAT AN IDIOT AND ASS Good for a laugh how nuts they are!!!!!

#5 Apr 11 - 5PM (Reply to #53)

deecbee

LOL. I am beginning to think

Edit: Nevermind! I thought you said "Men looking for Men" section! LOL, but I'll leave my comment up anyway. I am beginning to think we're all sharing about 3 or 4 men here. Unbelievable. I sometimes wonder if mine was a closeted homosexual. An ex broke up with him because she suspected he was gay- he admitted he was not interested in sex with a lot of his exes. A lot of females felt comfortable being his friend because they thought he was gay. He would make comments about the men and their bodies while we were watching movies, made jokes about him being a closeted homo (but I could tell he was a bit pissed off while doing so, so I never touched the subject). Only seemed to relate to females, but at the same time seemed to despise them. Very misogynistic, but NO guy friends to hang out with whatsoever. His best friend of 20 years jokingly asked him if he was gay once and he never spoke to him again. Just like that. I always suspected a lot of his acting out had a lot to do with his repression of what he really wanted.

#6 Apr 11 - 6PM (Reply to #54)

onwithmylife

Deecbee

Mine had such a HATRED of homosexuals, yet was fascinated by lesbians and their sex, makes me always wonder, of what you protest, watch out!!

#7 Apr 11 - 3PM

momoya

Wide Eyed

When I found 67 texts from his wife in his phone I said to him " Did you just come back in to my life JUST to hurt me?" HE just stared at me wide eyed I bet he was thinking "how did she KNOW?" When I asked why his wife, who he said he divorced was asking for couples counseling he told me " YOU have trust issues". Then he told me not to call him or contact him again, until he contacted me.

momoya

#8 Apr 11 - 3PM

terri

"You are such a drama

"You are such a drama queen" "You are the most miserable person I've ever known" "You are never happy" "You will never change" and the last thing I heard when I had finally had my fill and wasn't going along with the BS anymore, "I think there's someone else out there who can make you happier than I have ever been able to" to which I replied, "Yes, OK." and turned around and walked away.

Believe in yourself!
Terri

#9 Apr 11 - 1PM

deecbee

I think he actually agrees with me?

I outed him yesterday. I think he agrees with me! Read below and let me know what you think. We had been going back and forth with angry messages through FB- him playing mind games of course and making it seem like the reason he broke up with me without actually saying anything to me is because I'm too crazy for him. I wrote him 2 LONG emails pointing out the facts, my discovery, solid examples, and basically stripping him down to nothing. I'll actually post the messages here, because it looks like he's admitting it to me: His response to my first, long email letting him know I know he's sick: "Don't you have a life to focus on? That's a very interesting theory you have there, but there's a reason that people have to have a PhD or a medical license to make a diagnosis. Whatever personality traits I have, at least it serves me well in assimilating a large amount of information and coming up with correct answers under pressure. How about I just keep being me and you keep doing whatever it is you do, or at least as long as your looks will allow you to." I think at the end "assimilating a large amount of info" was in reference to his grad school... he's in midterms right now, I think. How creepy that that's what he's happy about, being a human computer. My response: "Cold indifference, apathy, misogyny, discarding people after they've served their purpose are also hallmarks of the male narcissist. If that's the only thing that's important to you, "correct answers under pressure", then I suppose you have everything you need. Having empathy, being able to form deep, lasting, meaningful attachments to other people isn't important to everyone, I guess. To be honest, it makes for a pointless and depraved existence. I truly feel for you. You're right, I do have a fun and productive life to focus on. When I'm old and my t*ts are on the floor, I'll still have my intelligence and compassion for others. I'll be just fine. Best of luck to you." His response, 10 minutes later: I don't want anything to do with people who bash my character for no reason. I suppose you have to bury people instead of just walking away and letting them be. Maybe one day you will realize not everything has to be said. What the heck does that last sentence mean? I think he is actually agreeing in his own twisted way!

#10 Apr 11 - 4PM (Reply to #47)

onwithmylife

deecbee

Last sentence is nothing but a mindf*** in my opinion, bunch of globbyie goop, that makes NO SENSE

#11 Apr 11 - 4PM (Reply to #44)

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

Or it could mean....

"Whatever personality traits I have, at least it serves me well in assimilating a large amount of information and coming up with correct answers under pressure." This could also be referring to the way he deals with the world and relating to people in general, especially women, as every Narc does. Since they're incapable of empathy and real emotions, they're always studying people to size them up, figuring out how to manipulate them for supply and also how to imitate them so they appear genuine. It's also how they deal with the questions we start throwing at them when we call them on their lies and bullshit. They always seem to have an answer for everything and are experts at deflecting, even when it doesn't make sense. And when they don't have a ready-made answer that will convince us, get us to back off, or believe them in spite of the facts, they don't answer at all. At least that's how mine was.

#12 Apr 11 - 5PM (Reply to #46)

Susan32

Under Pressure

"When they don't have a ready-made answer that will convince us, they don't answer at all"- The ex-Psych prof was the SAME WAY. In class, he'd quietly say I was right, and act like a Sad Little Boy. Not that different from my nephew (a one year old) when my sister takes the cellphone away from him... it's not a toy he's supposed to play with. When I called out the ex-P the final time, he blurted out that it had all been an act to get sympathy(!!!) He had accused me of acting inappropriately, etc, there was the lying about the girlfriend (more of a lie of omission) The ex-P had a HARD time answering questions under pressure. He threw a tantrum at a Q&A session after his first lecture, ordering people to simply read the books themselves. If he couldn't quote Augustine or Wittgenstein or spout a ready-made fact, he was beside himself. Usually, Q&A sessions can go on for awhile... but the ex-P ended his abruptly. It was a mass D&D. He basically ended it angrily pacing&telling everyone to GO AWAY. When I saw how he had read my senior thesis, what he mainly did was underline&write question marks in the margins. There was no deep intellectual engagement with my ideas. I can imagine my nephew coming up with the same responses... because he's a toddler. I don't expect a toddler to discuss philosophy deeply. Somehow, I do expect a middle-aged professor to. I guess the solution to the problem is to give teething toys to both.

#13 Apr 11 - 4PM (Reply to #45)

deecbee

I really don't know what he

I really don't know what he meant by any of his responses, but they were really odd and mechanical, I thought. You're spot on about the imitation, deflection. He'd take my words and use them right back on me, verbatim, and it often didn't make any sense in his context. If I'd call him out, his classic response was, "Are you describing you or me here?". And whenever I really stripped him down or brought something irrefutable up, he would say nothing. NOTHING.

#14 Apr 11 - 7AM

Deidre40

Some more things that occured

Some more things that occured to me...that he said last night when we confronted all that's been going wrong with us... * You would think that, Dee * You're so negative * Can you love me without conditions?

#15 Apr 11 - 4AM

SoOverItNext

wow!

I read everyone's comments on here and these lines they use make me feel like we were ALL dating the same person. Like they go to Narc University or something.

#16 Apr 10 - 8PM

HopeAgain

I could be here all night

I could be here all night with this one..but I will make it as brief as possible: -You're so insecure -You're the craziest girl I ever dated -You're so negative, I can't be around you (also gave him time with his other sources of supply) -I used to be happy go lucky and you bring me down -You are making me bear your exes cross -You're pushing me away -You have to make me WANT to be with you (when he'd give me tiny specs of crumbs ..he was the "invisible boyfriend") I used to ponder how can I be positive and "make him want to be with me" when he treats me like a piece of dog shit on his shoe??? HMMMMM...very good question you sick narco-path!! lol - Another popular one in which he was also projecting: "You don't trust my friendship with X because you can't have a platonic relationship!!!!" -You don't want a boyfriend, you just want someone to argue with -I need a chic who is "happy to be" True meaning: Happy to be cheated on, happy to be ignored, happy to be emotionally abused, happy to be mind-f***ed, happy to be by herself all the time. And the number one winner is....(drumroll please).... "YOU THINK WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!!!"

#17 Apr 11 - 2PM (Reply to #40)

prettypeeved

Ohhh yes. "You overthink

Ohhh yes. "You overthink things all the time." "Stop trying to second-guess me!" (Like you'd do with anyone when you're trying to figure out what crazy they're going to pull on you next)

#18 Apr 11 - 8AM (Reply to #39)

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

Exactly!

"You over-analyze everything!" (You're figuring me out and seeing through the double-speak, word spin, gaslighting mind f**k I'm doing to you.)

#19 Apr 10 - 10PM (Reply to #38)

neverlookback

mine said

that all the time, in other words, quit thinking because you are figuring me out and I cant have that

#20 Apr 10 - 6PM

toodles68

what he still says and what I internally laugh at

We are in counseling and after 6 years of physical, emotional and sexual abuse, he says, 1. "I was abused too. You ignored me. Spent to much time with our children." (the counselor had to put her chin back up from dropping) 2. "My compassion kept you form getting you pregnant more than 6 times." This after I begged him to get clipped so we could not have any more kids. 6 was enough!!!!! 3. "Food prices are skyrocketing and I really am concerned about your ability to pay the bills with our kids. I am really thinking about your stress, so why no move back to the farm and I will help out more." Keeping in mind, he is not paying child support. Really, ummmm..... I would rather live in a box under the free way, thank you very very much. 4."Women are basically stupid, but I thought you were differnt, I guess you were wrong." this in response to me not wanting to move back in with him and bring the 6 kids back into a crap ass marriage. WOW, I guess I am a MORON.

#21 Apr 10 - 8PM (Reply to #35)

Arwen

you're in counseling?

how is that going? really curious!

#22 Apr 11 - 3AM (Reply to #36)

toodles68

counseling

Why I am in counseling? After a while I am not even sure. After being married for 18 years and putting up with getting yelled at daily, I have no idea why I am sitting in a room with this man listening to him and trying to commuicate better. I guess I am doing it for the kids. I do many of the things I do for the kids. At first I thought, maybe I could deal with this, for the kids, but mostly now, I am thinking, I could decorate a fridge box with little windows and doors, and use sharpies and crayons on the outside to make rainbows and fairies and stuff, and gosh, that would feel safer, that would feel more of a home. So the question was, how is that going? Eh, its going, but not all that well. I am biding my time... patience its a virtue right?

#23 Apr 10 - 6PM

Deidre40

wow, I've read through some

wow, I've read through some of these! Unreal. I have heard today...actually: *you're needy *you can't wrap your head around my job (he acts like he works for the CIA lol) *you are trying to push me away *that is your opinion, Dee *I see things in black and white, and you see things in fluffy, rainbow colors

#24 Apr 10 - 5PM

realitycheck

Narc Speak that will Make you Laugh

I had never encountered anybody like my ex-narc so I had no idea when he said these bizarre things to me that he was deflecting himself on me. I couldn't believe he would say these things and I couldn't understand. Him: I'm a good person. My thought: Why are you saying this, I never said you weren't. Him: So you think I'm telling you a lie? My thought: Umm, no that's not what I said, I asked why you didn't call me back. Him: I was too busy to read your email, I'm sorry honey. The truth: He didn't have a job, what the hell was he doing all day? Him: I'm going to see if you're narcissistic, after dinner I want you to drive me home. Me: I'd flown 3,000 miles to see him and paid for dinner. Him: My old girlfriend was psychotic. My thought: And you stayed with her for a year? That's strange. Him: My roommate is really not all there. My thought: And you live with him why? Him: I don't think I have a soul. My thought: What a strange thing to say, why is he telling me this. Him: I don't think I'm capable of loving. My thought: Then why have you had so many girlfriends? What are you really telling me. Him: Can't I take a day off from calling you. My thought: Gee, I didn't know love took a day off! Him: You need to act like a grown up! My thought: And how am I not, I said I was upset because you haven't returned my calls. Him: You're like a roller coaster I can't take it anymore. My thought: I didn't do anything, you disappeared for days. Him: You're immature and flighty. My thought: Because it would have been too much for you to call me on Valentine's Day? Him: I can't control what you do or say. My thought: Why would I want you to? I could go on and on, He was classic with his narc speak. I had never heard these comments or accusations before and I had no idea what or who are narcissist was. I sure do now! Let me know if it sounds familiar to any of you. XO

#25 Apr 10 - 3PM

Arwen

"You're BI-POLAR - PLEASE see

"You're BI-POLAR - PLEASE see a psychiatrist!" Every woman to him who challenged him (and that would mean any woman he ever met) was BI-POLAR. His all-time favorite thing to call me and other women!

#26 Apr 10 - 3PM

victimnomore

Whenever I

Whenever I would call him on his stuff he would say victinomore those are your issues and he would also tell me that I was very abusive. LOL. This is the same man that physically beat me, sexually abused me and almost killed me emotionally. What a nut job.

victimnomore

#27 Apr 10 - 3PM

jaycee

neverlookback

now that i know my hN with his mask off, and sometimes call him out on his lies, and i begin to tell the truth, i hear, youre fucking crazy, you need help, youre sick, are you going to start again, get the fuck out of my face, youre nuts, youre this youre that, etc.....oh the best is, i cant take this anymore you are driving me crazy, im outta here, i cant take another second of you........you have problems....always me, im the crazy one, because i know the truth........

Jaycee

#28 Apr 10 - 11AM

ifinallygotit

mine was a little different

I only told my ex N off once and it was about seven years ago on his answering machine. I broke up with him because he was ignoring me for weeks and I knew nothing about N stuff, just that he was being rude not responding to me. I told him that he was a fake and that his kisses meant nothing, That his kisses were just kisses and that he did not really care about me, whether I was dead or alive. He did not call me back and I starting dating someone that summer who unfortunately had problems the other way - following me around like a puppy dog giving me no space when I barely knew him. I had a crazy male neighbor harassing me at the time so I had to move. I broke up with new puppy dog weird guy and called my ex N - missing him during the turmoil of being stalked and moving during my most intense work cycle. He immediately took me back and said "Just don't ever leave a message like that ever again on my machine". He is a really passive, quiet, totally defended type who absolutely cannot look at himself at all. But he never ever said a bad word about me, never cursed me, never made fun of me, never criticized me or anyone else...just shut down. I have never met anyone like him - so sweet and so screwed up! How could he abandon me with no discussion after 10 years of being lovers and friends? He is too afraid to face the damage and thinks he is too cool to have to...he has new toy.

#29 Apr 10 - 7AM

helldweller

"You do it to everyone"

That's what he always said to me. That I am crazy and a liar and a manipulator and that I make everyone nuts. My husband set a fire at our church during a drunken bipolar episode. He was sort of friendly with my ex. They'd smoke together outside when my ex came over to see the kids. He'd say, "Your ex-husband says you're impossible too." I'd say, "You mean my ex-husband, the ARSONIST?" And he'd say, "I'm not surprised he did that. You make everyone crazy," essentially blaming me for "driving" my husband to arson. He also said he couldn't trust me because I'd divorced my husband after ten years. "You mean my husband the bipolar, alcoholic, adulterous ARSONIST?" I'd ask, incredulous. It didn't matter. It was proof that I'd leave the narc someday, because I'd left my husband.

#30 Apr 10 - 5AM

candy

leave your hubbie

He was texin me less and less and when i asked why he said... " if you wanna chat to me, leave your hubbie "" ... and .. "" its not my fault your stuck in a crap marriage "" .... oh and i was selfish for asking for to much of his time .... TOSSER !!! candy x

#31 Apr 10 - 1AM

TLSM

NLB

So familiar and I'd also think it was me at times, that I was the instable one! My ex would project, blame, leave ,hang up, yell, insult me, not talk to me for days until I'd beg him to talk to me! Who was that girl? Makes me sad for her!!!! :( HE CALLED YOU A C*NT?!?!??! I would have ripped his balls off and shoved them down his throat! That is the foulest word! Besides my narcs name-CHARLIE! (had to write his name ONCE on this board! Asswipe!) Abuse is abuse, name calling or not... BUT STILL!!! Dingleberry is nicer than that word!

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