I am in a huge amount of pain right now

Excuse my language - but WHY IN THE HELL DID HE TEXT YOU THAT????????? They just get off on hurting us. Did you respond? Well, this chick is in for A RUDE AWAKENING. She will realize that she married the devil himself. THANK GOD IT'S NOT YOU. You were TOO SMART FOR HIM! In the future, when you are happily married to Mr. Wonderful and Mr. HOTNESS, you will look back and say "PHEW! Dodged that bullet!" I am sorry, but he is a POS for telling you. UGH! I AM SO SICK FOR YOU! HE IS AN ASSHOLE. (I have a feeling I will be hearing same news this year.)

....nice, long, slow, deep breaths. He wants you to know that he's getting married because he knows it'll be a punch to the gut. He'd have given you news like this ONLY to your face or not at all if he had some balls, so you could see his eyes. Those eyes that YOU KNOW reveal a guy incapable of being joined at the heart with another human being. It's just a facade, he'll go through the motions for any number of reasons, all of them SHALLOW. Those reasons can't be otherwise because he knows not of empathy- the thing that DOES connect us. The thing that holds us back from making choices that devastate others. The thing that allows us to really be present and reach out to others. The thing that gives way to emotional growth, depth, respect- things he can't relate to. Yet someone is eager to walk that marital plank with him, dayyuummm!!! It's not you, girl! Thank Jesus! The guy has no business exchanging vows with my DOG.

Please!!! Why exactly is he texting you that he is getting married? I want to scream for you right now. He is such a piece of crap. Really? You are not for ONE second gonna let this man manipulate you or do ANYTHING to put you backwards in all the progress that you have made. He is messing with your mind!! And even if he is getting married... it won't last long. You know this sister!! Pick yourself up. Put a smile on your face. He is disgusting.

I know its hard...but release him...chord or no chord...if it is a soul journey...if the reality is he is pathologically disordered or not...release him...his soul was toxic to yours no matter how we want to define this or label it...the bottom line it was toxic to you. It doesn't matter if he gets married, wins the lotto, whatever...the reality is - the fact is...we are our own base. The reality is, people die. When they die, we also have no choice. We grieve but we move on. I understand the shock. Knowing what you know about the disorder you know exactly why he felt the need to relay this news. Do not fake a feeling, feel what you feel. Yea, I get frozen...I'm trying to put myself in your shoes, with all you've shared and what works for you. You have admitted "control" issues...this is a control issue the not letting go and releasing. It will take time...but try not to shut down and repress...any feeling you have is natural, normal and valid. You do not have to rise to the occasion. Just feel it so you can purge it. You do not deserve suffering - that is what this man represents...suffering. You are strong, intelligent and all the things you have "fought" to be and you have worked for all that you are, and you have earned all that you are. We cannot be perfect, we have flaws, and healthy people can accept us for whom we are, but we have to accept us first. Get the bullshit out of your head - it's bullshit. Self esteem waxes and wanes. You are on top of your game, you just don't see it, and I'm not sure anyone telling you will convince you. The universe did not say: Sickofit, you are placed here to meet the world's standards...you are here to meet your standards - everyone else can go fly. We don't have to over achieve, we just have to know we did our best to do the right thing based upon the circumstances and the information we have...there is always a margin for error. He was an error...let it go - this mishap...hiccup whatever DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. Release and let go...let the universe handle it...sometimes our control lies in letting go. Hugs!...sorry:(

You have dodged a bullet. Please remember EVERYTHING you have ever said to me. I promise you DO NOT WANT HIM! We love you. Hang in there and do not let him take you down.