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Happy New Year!

Lisa E. Scott's picture
Submitted by Lisa E. Scott on December 31, 2011 - 1:54pm

As we close out the year and get ready to bring in 2012, I want to encourage you to celebrate yourself this year!

Step 6 in The Path Forward is TO HEAL, which is where

"We have a newfound compassion for ourselves and commit to live in the moment."

I believe finding ourselves again, practicing self-compassion and living in the moment is the KEY to our recovery.

Many of us find it easy to have compassion for others, but have very little for ourselves. It never occurs to us to feel it for ourselves. We must lighten up, relax and go easy on ourselves for a change. Living life with an unconditional love for ourselves changes everything.

Look to the truth; this is where our answers lie

Goldie's picture
Submitted by Goldie on December 31, 2011 - 8:50am

"The truth will set us all free, it is the lie's we still tell ourselves and our own denial system which keeps us in bondage." May 2012 become the year when we become honest with ourselves and look inwards and upwards (Spiritual) for your answers. People will come and go and let us down on many levels. Let your own truth and instincts be your guide. Living by someone's else's rules is always a formular for disaster anyway. Healthy bounderies, self love, and empowerment are what keeps us strong, safe, and secure. Trust the process, it works if you work it!!!

On the question of dating after a Narcissist; As we have learned there are Narcissists everywhere!

Goldie's picture
Submitted by Goldie on December 24, 2011 - 10:21am

So you have made it through your Recovery and you want to begin to get your feet wet again.

This is in response to a member's question regarding their frustration with beginning to date again. This answer pertains to this particular member, yet others may also find some of this helpful.

Whether you feel ready not, the biggest thing I hope we all have learned from this experience is SELF PROTECTION and to TRUST OUR INSTINCTS and watch for those RED FLAGS.

NO venue is completely safe or "foolproof." The Internet is a preditors playground. They can pretend to be whoever they want to be. Many have met their narcs online.

Happy Holidays!

Lisa E. Scott's picture
Submitted by Lisa E. Scott on December 24, 2011 - 4:57am

I am a spiritual person, but not a religious person. The beauty of nature and miracle of life prove to me that a higher power exists beyond myself. I believe this higher power exists everywhere. We do not need to go to a church or a temple to be close to God. If that is something that helps us feel closer, then it’s a wonderful thing to do. At times, I do attend service. Inspiring sermons can be very powerful, especially at this time of year.

However, I know that in order to be close to God, I do not need to be anywhere other than with myself. God is within each one of us. It is this realization that has allowed me to find my spirituality.

The kingdom of heaven is within you.
(Luke 17:21)

A Time of SELF Forgiveness and Setting NEW Bounderies for the NEW YEAR, 2012

Goldie's picture
Submitted by Goldie on December 23, 2011 - 6:55am

A Time of Self Forgiveness and Setting NEW Bounderies for the NEW YEAR, 2012!

We do not have to do anything we don't feel comfortable with in order to try to KEEP or SECURE a man or woman. Once you cross over that line, you don't really have them anyway; they have you."

The New Year is fast approaching and is a great time to let go of unhealthy behaviors.

The New Year Resolution; 2012.

Cherishing our Independence after the Narcissist

Lisa E. Scott's picture
Submitted by Lisa E. Scott on December 22, 2011 - 3:03pm

I just read an excellent article I want to share with all of you! A must-read showing how more and more women are choosing to be independent in life and are happy with this decision.

I'm not saying we should never date a man (quite the opposite) but why are we so consumed with finding one we can settle down with for the rest of our lives? Is this even realistic anymore or desirable for that matter?

Narcissists are like children who require constant attention and validation every second of the day. Without such ego-stroking, they become criticial, demeaning and cruel. When we first come out of a relationship with such a person, we find ourselves with lots of free time we don't necessarily know what to do with or how to spend.

The search for success...

spinning's picture
Submitted by spinning on December 20, 2011 - 4:02pm

“First start with doing what is necessary. Then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
--St. Francis of Assisi

You’re in such pain right now that you feel like you’ve just gone through surgery without anesthesia. Someone has removed your vital organs and you are gutted. Weak. You feel like a ghost wandering in the fog. Every step feels like sandpaper scraping against your raw skin.

Who Should I Blame???

Hunter's picture
Submitted by Hunter on December 19, 2011 - 12:57pm

Just recently I had a leaky pipe.. Drip,drip drip.. Ignore ..ignore ignore..

My friends all gave the name of a affordable plumber..drip,drip... That bucket will take care of it..I'm to busy.. Work, family, activites, .. Drip drip..

My friends " you still havnt called that plumber". Fine so I cheap out and call handy man Charlie..

Charlie " sure Mrs. I can fix it . It will be $100.00" Great.. It's fixed and at half the price..

Ugh.. Drip, drip drip.. So I call Charlie back .. Charlie now gives me the silent treatment...he got his money..

In the interim ... The leak is now worse than before.. Good thing for the bucket..drip ..drip..

Getting Some of This Out; STEP TWO, GET IT OUT

Goldie's picture
Submitted by Goldie on December 15, 2011 - 9:11am

GUEST BLOG FROM A MEMBER, ~Anonymous~

How sick do you have to be to lie to somebody in order to win their heart, their everything, and then get off on letting them fall as hard as they can. To not be kidding, but seriously be this person. not a joke. To watch their confusion, fuel it, and then ignore their pleas for clarity. To rage at their attempts at clarity. To try everything to get them back, while pretty much with someone else, just to play her off the other one. And then when she tries to put two and two together, is confused and desperately tries to confront it, to tell her she's losing her grip...and after a while, to neither rage nor directly imply that she's crazy, but to tell her she needs help. And advise her that she should find a nice guy and move on.

What kind of a spouse/mate/partner is likely to be attracted to a narcissist?

Goldie's picture
Submitted by Goldie on December 7, 2011 - 5:42am

Thanks for sharing this ZZcem. Excellent read.

http://www.toddlertime.com/sam/6.htm

The truth will set us free and the truth for us lie's within us; not them. Once you stop looking towards them for the answer and go within for the solution's, recovery and healing begin to flow more rapidly. This is an inside job.

Narcissism is Back as a Psychiatric Disorder!

Lisa E. Scott's picture
Submitted by Lisa E. Scott on December 4, 2011 - 11:45pm

Phew!! I must say I was extremely concerned in 2010 when the APA (American Psychological Association) announced it would be eliminating (NPD) Narcissistic Personality Disorder from their update to the DSM (Diagnostics & Statistics Manual)in 2013.

Fortunately, due to significant professional and public outcry, the APA has decided NOT to eliminate NPD as a psychiatric disorder!

Thank you, APA! Thank God! Thanks to everyone who has ever done anything to build awareness on the topic of pathological narcissism. It is NOT normal behavior and should NEVER be classified as such!

In my opinion, if the APA did eliminate NPD as a psychiatric disorder, it would be sending a message that narcissism has not only become an acceptable norm of behavior, but is now necessary for survival!