If Ever There Were a Twelve Step Program for Victims of Narcissists...

A member of The Path Forward forum mentioned mulling over a support group program following the Twelve Step Format.

I think this is an excellent idea and one that I had many moons ago in the early days of my recovery. In fact, I was so distressed and desperate for help, I began to draft a format of my vision way back when.

Luckily, I found Lisa E. Scott's forum and in following the Path Forward, elected to abandon my plan. I haven't re-visited my original idea until this particular member inspired me; however if a 12 Step Program ever were implemented for victims of Narcissistic Personality Disorder Abuse, I surmise the manifesto would read somewhat as follows:

NVA - How it Works
Narc Victims Anonymous

If you want what we have to offer, and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. These are the principles that made our recovery possible.

1.We admitted that we were powerless over the Narcissist, that they are incurable personality disordered individuals non responsive to love, therapy, stun-guns or exorcism. Their lives are and will always be unmanageable.

2.We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves such as: a Thorazine drip, Southern Comfort or Electric Shock Treatment to quell the PTSD could restore us to sanity.

3.We made a decision to go NC immediately.

4.We made a searching and fearless quest for information about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and have become experts in all types of incurable sociopathic based personality disorders.

5.We admitted to ourselves, and to another human being our victimization and the fact that we suffered from delusions as well as the exact nature of the Narcissist’s wrongs.

6.We were entirely ready to remove the defective, morally flawed Narcissistic character from our lives.

7.We humbly accepted his shortcomings most often evident in the form of premature ejaculation and through healing remain confident we will someday find an exceptionally skilled lover absent serial cheating, fetishes, paedophilia, bestiality, obsessive compulsive masturbation and/or covert abnormal sexual activity stemming from same disorder or another disorder of unknown etiology.

8.We made a list of all persons he had harmed and all future victims, and became willing to make amends to them all, in the form of prayer an/or other forms of spiritual supplication from a distance.

9.We made direct amends to ourselves so that we could avoid the obsessive desire to harm him.

10.We continue to take personal inventory and when we are weak, promptly log on to The Path Forward's Forum.

11.We seek through prayer, meditation and the occasional voodoo doll to improve our conscious contact with ourselves as we understand ourselves, praying only for knowledge of greater self awareness and healing and the power to carry on the message and raise awareness.

12.Having had a rude awakening as a result of these steps, we carry this message to victims, and commit to practice these principles in all our affairs.

FINALLY, we would need a group anthem. I have found that during such sensitive times, it's hard to listen to mushy love songs, and we don't quite feel the joy and enthusiasm that happy songs are supposed to instill in our hearts, minds bodies and souls. We're in such deep despair, almost any genre of music triggers us. I remember bursting forth in hysterics over the National Anthem during one of my more vulnerable moments. I can still hear it:

"On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes...."

Thanks to Lisa E. Scott, I can even embrace my National Anthem again...I once again feel like a WOMAN WITH A COUNTRY!...nonetheless, I digress...

To remedy such affliction in others I have thought about this very carefully. On the one hand, there are those who find music comforting, but on the other, those like me who the slightest sound and lyric can bring forth a trigger. In order to satisfy everyone's needs I propose something neutral yet descriptive, accurate, yet void of emotion as there are enough emotions flaring. I have found and propose a song...perfect...simple...factual and supportive of our plight...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UejelYnVI3U

*DISCLAIMER: This entry is purely for entertainment purposes to take the edge off a bit...laughter is the best medicine.

Hugs!