"I thought we bonded," Did we?

In answer to a question regarding why he no longer thinks his mother is a PD and Did we bond, it felt "to me" that way at times:

They only "appear to bond" to suck you in.

He may have been mildy interested in the childhood stuff at the time because of course.....it was all about him and an obvious way to suck you in, no brainer there for him.

The notion that he is disordered and his Mom is a cad is not something he will entertain with you now, why bother, it worked and he got what he wanted for a time.

He will only blame his Mom when it suits him. When she is not being good supply and as soon as she fixes something for him or gives him money, support whatever, she is A Okay is his book. Until the next time she says NO or pisses him off and then she is the "bad one."

Hmmmm sounds like how they treat us. No surprises there, narcs have NO loyalty to anyone.

Either you are feeding the horse and good supply or you are not and bad supply. Simple enough to them. It is us who complicates who and what they are. They have no confusion about it.

To a narc, life is a playground for new supply and either you are with them or against them. The rest is your problem as far as they are concerned.

Once you GET THIS, you are on your way to a full recovery.

They do not change their stories per se, they tailor make up their stories to fit the occasion.

They are cons, manipulators, a circus act. ACT is the key word here. They are who you want them to be in the luring in honeymoon stage and to keep you as good supply and when the show is over, why bother. Then they say "whatever" to hurt you and discard you, until they run low on supply and then say that they did not mean any of that bad talk, just the good stuff.

Recovery is about NOT believing the words; it's looking towards their actions.

If this was a well known con artist who had conned many out of thousands of dollars and he came to you to try and get your money, you would be able to say NO, I won't give you my money because I know that you are a con, get lost.

We'll call him con A and your con/con B.

The same holds true here, you know he is a PD, he says a bunch of shit to suck you in, discards you, and then possibly at some point, he denies it all because he is low on supply and you believe, the new improved lie's now because YOU want to believe.

Now WHY would you believe a word of any of it? Con artist A and con artist B are both con's, the ONLY difference is that you have feelings for con artist B.

The solution is to work on you and your feelings and what brought you to the con in the first place. Trying to work on him is a complete waste of your time. There are NO answers or solutions to be found there. Would you try to "cure" "fix" "analyze" or "understand the Con A???

It is all lie's because you are dealing with a con who wears a mask. He is a master con artist and his supply are his puppets, pure and simple.

So, the honeymoon stage is a lie, the D&D is a lie, and the hoovering is a lie.

This is NOT a reflection on you and your worth and value. This is a reflection on him and his lack of value and worth.

God bless,
Goldie