Responding to contact
I think the true issue lies in the thinking BEFORE the hoover attempt is made.
IF the thinking is solid and focused on recovery and what a PD truly is and what the PD actually has done to DESTROY your life, the end result will be, NOT to answer or respond to the hoovering attempt at all.
I believe that the true problem lie's in the thinking which preceeds the hoover attempt.
These are some of the hurdles which I see the members face consistantly here on the forum:
He really does love me; he just had a bad childhood and has trouble expressing his feelings.
He may not even be a narc, so in my particular case I need to respond, he may have changed.