“It is the darkness that makes the light visible, and not the other way around.”
--Nancy Venable Raine
I don’t like all this “becoming.” Six years of becoming someone I don’t recognize. But of all the things I have “become,” I am at the do-or-die transformation now. Being Pain Queen doesn’t work any more. Pain Queen is on her last leg. And she just can’t take any more pain. So I must become a person who does not desire it. Who doesn’t seek it. Doesn’t turn to it. Doesn’t count on it. Doesn’t accept it as a permanent affliction.
I must become a person who does not love HIM. Who couldn’t possibly love a man who has brought me so much pain. I must stop thinking I love him. It’s just too twisted to “love” the source of my pain...