Are Narcissists Evil? Or simply not thinking about you at all ?

Personally I believe:

Some people prefer to see the narc as evil, rather than the truth, which is, they don't give a damn about you, your wants, or your feelings. Using you and not caring about you is not the same thing as evil.

It may FEEL like evil to you because you want more.

I also don't believe too much in ST.

Again. I believe that calling it ST is a comfort to you.

Pretending he is away to punish you, when the reality is most of the time, if the narc is not with you he is doing something else. Narcs require supply.

Sure they may pout for a few, though not nearly as long as you think they do.

Most of them have a big smile on their face as they are texting OW while storming out of your house. That would be a more accurate description of what they do.

There are evil people sure and I have talked with people who have been with them. Just not ALL of them we hear about on here.

Using you if you allow this, is not the same thing as evil.

Most of them if you TRULY shut down the lines of communication go on to OS, with the occasional random Hoover.

Unless you are dealing with a stalker, most of them fade away, if YOU stop engaging and you only hear from them if they want something or are looking for a status update.

Using you is using you. Narcs use people.

Narcs are selfish and self serving.

They may receive a buzz over watching you suffer, they don't like to see you doing better than them. They are petty and small minded. Many have zero respect for women and envy other men.

It's a mixed bag. Some are sex addicts. Drug addicts, psychopaths, and so on. Narcissism is the baseline. The rest of it, are add ons.

If it helps you to sleep to call him evil. If this is what you see. Then by all means do so.

Me, I see that as keeping the buzz alive.

Where we see evil. We create evil. You give him all your power.

If you see him as non existent then he becomes so.

Xoxo
Goldie

Ps

My experience and what hurt the most was, they only wanted me when they wanted something from me, other than that, I was virtually dead to them. My father and so on.

If insecure. This translates to unlovable; unworthy.

We don't like to feel this, so we make excuses or place blame, on us or them, as opposed to getting OUT.

Thus the dance of the toxic relationship.

So sure calling them evil to some, may be an easier pill to swallow than saying, he did not love me. I did not matter or was not important to this person. Was used by this person and then discarded.

I believe once we fully get this. We are free.

So now, when someone does not appear to care about me. My go to place is not unworthy or un loveable, it is more, oh, this person does not appear to be much of a giver and I make my choice accordingly.

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email: support@lisaescott.com

Dec 29 - 8PM
Rora
Rora's picture

My go-to mantra this week

Dec 17 - 9AM
MyTurnToBeFree
MyTurnToBeFree's picture

So True

Dec 14 - 5PM
2manyofthem
2manyofthem's picture

my mom used to say the

Dec 16 - 9AM (Reply to #17)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Yes, what you describe works for some

Jan 9 - 3AM (Reply to #19)
StrongasDandelion
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Fantastick -thank you Goldie !

Jan 9 - 3AM (Reply to #18)
StrongasDandelion
StrongasDandelion's picture

Fantastick -thank you Goldie !

Dec 5 - 10PM
Luv2bme
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I understand..., yet,

Nov 22 - 9AM
Phoenyx
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AGREE!

Nov 24 - 12PM (Reply to #14)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Great blog, as always, Goldie!!!

Nov 22 - 5AM
SECM1968
SECM1968's picture

When you finally understand

Nov 21 - 7AM
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Evil

Nov 21 - 2AM
Quixotic
Quixotic's picture

Reprehensible Works Just Fine

Nov 20 - 9PM
ZanShin
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Agreed.

Nov 20 - 3PM
shazza060969
shazza060969's picture

OMG!!

Dec 17 - 11AM (Reply to #8)
MissH
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Shazza

Nov 20 - 3PM (Reply to #7)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thank you Shazza

Nov 20 - 2PM
Laci423
Laci423's picture

Evil?

Nov 20 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Exactly Laci

Nov 20 - 11AM
Used
Used's picture

goldie

Nov 20 - 3PM (Reply to #1)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thank you Used

Nov 20 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
Heartbroken78
Heartbroken78's picture

My dad was a narcissist a

Nov 20 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Yes