Women helping women. Women loving women.
I have heard many women say, they get along much better with men than they do with women. Some say they don't trust women. Many women with the N are jealous or bitter towards the OW. The Narc gives you so little that it may be easy to fall into this trap and blame the OW for what he is doing or not doing. Easy to think he must love her more or perhaps she is better than you somehow, not the case. She is just like you in many ways.
There may be a variety of reasons why some women don't like or trust OW, in general.
My father was a N/P and my Mom drank to deal with the pain of his cold insensitive cruel ways.
Regardless to what my Mother did to cope, she was a good Mother. Her word was Gold. I rarely if ever heard her gossip or speak poorly about others and she had many great friends, some since she was a little girl remained friends with her until she died suddenly at 55. Trust and loyalty to her women friends was important to my Mother and she taught me these skills and traits in my friendships with women as well and for this I am grateful. I have often said, that it is women NOT men who have always helped me and been there for me in my darkest hour.
So needless to say, the dischord and disharmony I have seen on here from women towards women has saddened me more than any of what the men have done to us.
I already knew from childhood that some men were sneaky, shallow, selfish, and used women for their own gratification and needs, so the Narcs behaviors have neither shocked me or surprised me much. What plaqued me more was learning that there are great and good men out there as well, because by the time I was only 12 years old, I had not met too many of them. This has been one of my life's lesson's to love myself enough to begin to attract better men into my life and to trust them and the process of life and love within the male/female relationship.
Several months ago Spinning's Aunt who is a true empath and sensitive intuitive woman toward women, purchased a large quantity of Healing Books authored by famed inspirational author Lousie Hay. She heard about the site through Spinning and said she wanted to do her part to bring postivie light, love, and inspiration to our members. Many of these books were mailed to our members through Spinning in order to help them with their journey.
This Christmas Spinning PM me and said there were still books left and did I know anyone else who may benefit from them.
I said, go ahead and send me the books and I will find them the right home. They came with 3 healing minerals and rocks in cute little pouches and ribbon to also aid in the healing process.
Meanwhile, I was led to order several inspirational magnets, angel cards, and books myself also from Lousie Hay, Hay House is her site and had them in my bedroom in a box. I had no idea at the time why I ordered these or what I was going to do with them, just that I felt led to do so.
The NEXT day, I am on FB and a post comes on my feed about a new local group beginning called SISTERS, put together by one of my favorite younger FB friends whose posts always inspire me. She is in her early 20's and is all about women helping women, love, self love, empowerment, and making the world a better place one woman at a time.
I immediately thought of Spinnings Aunts books coming and the box in my room. I was excited about being in a position to help this new group with a present from US (seasoned women) to give to them for their Christmas meeting and to support their new group.
I got all the books, rocks, magnets, etc out and began to put together little packets for each group member. I wrapped them all up with beautiful paper, bows, and dried flowers I had picked from the New England Seashore Marshland and put them all in a big box and had them delivered to her house for the meeting.
Before even opening them and passing them out at the meeting, the group leader, Amelie, PM me on FB and said she was crying having received this box. She just could not believe that strangers to her group would be thinking of them and wanting to bless them in this way.
My wish and my prayer to all of us women is through this all, if we have learned one thing, I hope it is that we are all in the same boat. The younger the older, the average the beautiful, the big the small, the short the tall, the blondes the brunettes, the small breasted the large breasted, the wealthy the poor, and whatever other foolish ways we judge each other, all get put to bed in the name of sisterhood and empathy and compassion for each, afterall with a N we are all the OW regardless to what physical or financial or social assets we bring to the table.
None of us is better or worse than another, we were all just women looking for love and acceptance from a man. How about giving it to each other for now as we grow and develop as the women of dignity, compassion, strength and talent which each and every one of us brings to the table in our own special ways.
The SISTERS in this group are all just beginning their jouney's into adult womanhood and may they do it with the self confidence, self love, and care that so many of us lacked in a prior generation still suffering from the residue of a time period where we were taught and trained to put a man's needs and wants above our own. May they become shinning stars of light, love, strength, and charactor in their own right.
I would like to share with you a few of the beautiful thank you notes I received from some of the group members. These letters give me hope for the next generation of women, and make what we do here and what I have been through and survived, all so meaningful today and worthwhile:
"Dear Goldie, I once read a quote from Saint Basil, 'A tree is known by it's fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows curtsey reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love' I am extremely grateful for the gifts that you and your friends have compiled and sent me and my sisters. It's the people like you who really make the world a better place. I want you to know that your good deed will never be forgotten. I pray that the kindness you continue to sow into this world will return right back to you. Not only was it very thoughtful, but it was very beautiful of you to send our group, Sisters, our precious gifts. You have no idea how grateful I am. Thank you. May love and kindness follow you for the rest of your life. You matter! With a grateful heart, your Sister, Gabriella."
"Dear Goldie, Many have said that to truly love is to give to others. This idea is expressed in the old adage: 'We are given two hands - 'One for helping ourselves, and the other for helping others.' Unfortunately, so often in today's society, rather than helping others, we are quick to tear one another down. This is a shame. The truth is when women work together to uplift each other, we grow as individuals and as Sisters. At the heart of my Women's Group is this concept of sharing and empowering one another - Same thing you so beautifully expressed. To me, unselfish actions - such as your gift - are the most radiant pages in the biographies of our lives. Your gift blessed us with wonderful knowledge through reading, but it also inspired us and touched our hearts. Thank you doesn't even come close to covering my gratitude for your kindness shown. Never stop uplifting, encouraging, and giving.......the world needs more people like you. All my love, Amelie, the Director of SISTERS."
"Dear Goldie, Thank you so much for the present. i loved the rocks, the magnet, and the book. It meant so much to me. I really appreciate it. Sincerely, Haley."
"Dear Goldie, Thank you so much for the gifts. Us and the Girls Group really appreciate it. So generous and sincere. I hope us girls really learn to love and accept ourselves. There aren't a lot of nice people in the world who would take the time and send gifts to our Girl's Group. Thank you again!! Lots of Love, Caroline."
These were all handwritten and mailed to me in cards.
My best to SISTERS and my best to each and everyone of my Sisters in Strength and Recovery from a Toxic Relationship here on THE PATH FORWARD.
God bless and a big THANK YOU TO SPINNING, Her beautiful Aunt, and all the MODS and members who give back tirelessly.
Lots of Love,