Breaking NC by proxy; IS BREAKING NC and Keeping the BUZZ ALIVE.
Same as when a Narc hoovers by proxy; no difference.
These unhealthy relationships are NOT just about what the NARCS do, they are about what we continue to do to torture ourselves, keep the buzz alive, and remain in an Unhealthy state of mind and being.
It is common for some to continue to engage in intrigue regarding the Narc, to "hang out" with people you had in common or places you had in common, or to stalk his Facebook or other sites he frequents. Drive by's where he may be "hanging out" or where he lives or OW house, etc....
It is still head tripping about the Narc.
The mind plays tricks on us trying to keep our addiction and connection to the Narc alive.
I have heard every EXCUSE in the book as to why the member needed to contact his mother, his children, his friend, the OW, his wife, his co worker, for some alleged IMPORTANT reason, when in truth they are still addicted to the Narc and still trying to keep the buzz alive.
Cyber stalking, drive by's, "accidentally RUNNING into people he knows, because YOU plant yourself where they may be, calling people he knows to ask RANDOM questions, checking his e-mail or phone messages, because you have his passwords ARE ALL forms of breaking NC by proxy. Refusing to block YOUR cellphone, or change YOUR number, blocking HIS emails from coming in, etc...
If YOU truly want a better life and want to change YOUR toxic relationship situations, then YOU need to WAKE UP and GET REAL.
Refuse to engage in conversations regarding the Narc with OTHERS. Send his letters back, unopened, RETURN TO SENDER, Don't answer the door if he DROPS BY. Hang up the phone immediately if his calls get through on a different number.
Keeping the Buzz alive only keeps YOU engaged and off the track of YOUR healing and recovery and positions you to break NC shortly somewhere down the road.
IT IS like a drug addict STILL talking to his drug dealers, still hanging out in the crack houses. IT is only a matter of time that you will begin to do drugs again.
Until YOU change the scenery in YOUR life, nothing is going to change and YOU are still going to remain connected to the Narc, in pain, in obsessive thinking mode, and YOU will continue to struggle to GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE and let in the LOVE and LIGHT just waiting for YOU on the other side of all of this.
YOUR CHOICE, YOU will stop when you are ready and when you have has enough.
What can YOU do today to STOP YOUR breaking NC by proxy?
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