THE PAIN OF NC

This amazing post is by Guest Blogger:

Neverlookback

The pain of nc is a process of many things you are trying to accomplish; its not just about silence on your end, its the continual work 24-7 of letting go of the persona, facade, illusion, living in a fantasy world that was nothing but a lie that you believed in and loved very deeply. Remembering what you are facing and coming to painful terms with will greatly help you stay nc. Its time to face the music, and take off the rose tinted glasses - its time to look into the light no matter how much the light hurts, its time to see and realize the damage he has done to you, its time to take action and see this man for what he is - there are no more quick fixes with sex, or hearing his voice - even if you dont care what he says is a lie you just crave to hear his voice and those sick terms of lying endearment he used on you that you would DIE to hear again..... because be careful what you wish for, more contact one day may just be the last contact that will totally destroy you.

With NC you are extracting yourself mentally and physically from a world that never in a million years would have brought you happiness NOW, or 20 years from now - its only a temporary fix back into the house of mirrors that made it SEEM so. What ever you felt with him was fleeting; for the moment, a day, maybe a week .... Something that is not real can never last and their actions are living proof of that.

I am going to turn this around looking back he was MY supply - a supply and fix that kept me from facing my own reality, a sick man that simply pretended to be everything he knew I wanted - I got some heart breaking news for you; that is what they are for everybody and only those that are strong and stay grounded in the real world are the ones that can escape. Life is not a fantasy - real life is full of contradictions and compromises, give and take, growth and change - something a psychopath is never capable of doing, but he will fool you into believing he can.

I know very well the feeling of living on the greatest love high you have ever felt then being thrown off the highest building and landing on your face; that is what we all experienced. You get up, dust yourself off and for awhile you say, WTF just happened just last week I was the love of his life and know I feel like I have died from the fall. When I landed on my face it woke me up from the coma he had me in - you wake up and you no longer see prince charming but you see him for what he is and the fantasy he had you in. Give him the silent treatment for all eternity because this is a man who was a murderer of everything you ever loved - show this man what a silent treatment REALLY IS - he gave you the silent treatment to make you feel like you didnt exist, return him the favor and let him know he is dead and always has been.

January 3, 2014 - 1:28am
kokosiru
kokosiru's picture

Thank you

June 14, 2013 - 7:43am
MissDaisy
MissDaisy's picture

"Life is not a fantasy - real

May 30, 2013 - 6:06pm
thebigpayback
thebigpayback's picture

very important point

October 28, 2012 - 6:32pm
perplexed penny
perplexed penny's picture

This is wonderful

May 9, 2012 - 11:48am
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Thank you very much for this.

May 2, 2012 - 5:09pm
sexy72
sexy72's picture

Wonderful and very moving post!

May 2, 2012 - 5:08pm
sexy72
sexy72's picture

Wonderful and very moving post!

May 2, 2012 - 6:58am
SmartLadyInMD
SmartLadyInMD's picture

Never Look Back

May 1, 2012 - 10:54pm
constantturbulence
constantturbulence's picture

Thanks so much!

April 29, 2012 - 7:43pm
RustyGal
RustyGal's picture

Very true!! I am learning to

April 28, 2012 - 12:52am
Kitty Kate
Kitty Kate's picture

My Fix

April 28, 2012 - 8:18am (Reply to #23)
SmartLadyInMD
SmartLadyInMD's picture

Pathetic and insecure

April 29, 2012 - 5:14pm (Reply to #24)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

THey

April 25, 2012 - 6:29am
SmartLadyInMD
SmartLadyInMD's picture

NC

April 24, 2012 - 11:16am
Used
Used's picture

This so so true.... Beign

April 24, 2012 - 10:56am
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Nevrlookingback............be

April 23, 2012 - 10:26pm
abreva
abreva's picture

So many jewels here - thank you!

April 23, 2012 - 9:51pm
chris magan
chris magan's picture

Thank you so much Goldie,

April 23, 2012 - 9:12am
Grymel
Grymel's picture

Wow

April 23, 2012 - 8:58am
Ophelia
Ophelia's picture

Neverlookback

May 2, 2012 - 8:40pm (Reply to #15)
sexy72
sexy72's picture

3 Months N/C

April 23, 2012 - 6:03am
bgirl
bgirl's picture

Absolutely xxx... Never has

May 2, 2012 - 8:42pm (Reply to #13)
sexy72
sexy72's picture

Right On!!!!

April 22, 2012 - 11:30pm
Alissa
Alissa's picture

Thanks for writing this,

April 22, 2012 - 7:25pm
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Neverlookback

April 23, 2012 - 10:22pm (Reply to #7)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

Goldie and all

May 2, 2012 - 8:45pm (Reply to #10)
sexy72
sexy72's picture

Yes

April 25, 2012 - 1:14am (Reply to #8)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Neverlookback!

April 26, 2012 - 6:32pm (Reply to #9)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

I totally agree

April 22, 2012 - 7:02pm
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Encore! Take a bow, standing

April 22, 2012 - 6:12pm
Londonteacher
Londonteacher's picture

Powerful, poignant words.

April 22, 2012 - 5:01pm
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Love this.. Silence = the

April 22, 2012 - 5:37pm (Reply to #1)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

Yes indeed my friend

April 23, 2012 - 3:56am (Reply to #2)
dudette
dudette's picture

Thank you

April 25, 2012 - 5:21am (Reply to #3)
Cabo
Cabo's picture

Thanks