What We Can Learn from Charlie Sheen's Narcissism

My second book, “Surviving a Narcissist” will be coming out in a few weeks. I am frequently asked how to get over a Narcissist. While there is no magic pill, you CAN and you WILL survive. Recovery is possible.

Our forum is full of great ideas and suggestions from members getting over these emotionally abusive partnerships. Based on the collective wisdom of this amazing group, dedicated forum moderators, personal experience and lots of research, I have developed "The Six Steps to Surviving a Narcissist."

The first step in recovery is to understand the pathology of someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Step One: Understand It

We educate ourselves on the personality of a Narcissist. Knowledge is power!

Many people dismiss narcissism as harmless and say it's part of being human. Well, yes we all possess narcissistic tendencies. However, it is important to understand that narcissism falls on a spectrum. When a person’s narcissism becomes so severe that it consumes them, it develops into a pathological personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Put simply, pathological behavior describes anything carried to such an extreme that it becomes abnormal. For example, a Narcissist is so wrapped-up in himself that he is incapable of feeling emotions for others. A Narcissist actually believes that others exist to cater to his needs. A Narcissist has delusions of grandeur that are so extreme, they become comical. A Narcissist truly believes others should feel honored to be in the presence of their greatness.

Charlie Sheen’s recent comments in his war with Warner Bros. provide the perfect example of such pathological behavior.

• “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

• “I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”

• “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

• “AA was written for normal people. People that don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. . . I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”

• “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.”

• “We work for the pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people.”

• “I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself.”

• “The last time I took drugs, I probably took more than anyone could survive. I was banging 7-gram rocks because that’s how I roll, I have one speed, go.

• “What’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards and all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

• “Winning!”

Charlie Sheen helps illustrate the delusional behavior indicative of someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Sheen’s behavior can teach us a lot about the dangers of narcissism.

Narcissists believe the world revolves around them and people exist to accomodate their needs. Narcissists are manipulative, controlling and emotionally abusive to those closest to them. It is not just selfish, arrogant behavior that makes a relationship with someone like this difficult. It is much more devastating and thus, important to understand and recognize as early as possible.

Pathological narcissism is not something to dismiss or overlook. It is a RED FLAG you CANNOT ignore. If you or someone you know might be in a relationship with a Narcissist, please educate yourself on the dangers of staying in this kind of relationship by visiting us at www.allabouthim.com.

“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”
~ Henri L. Bergson

March 12, 2011 - 10:30am
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Charlie Sheen Question for Lisa

I've been watching his insanity unfold because it's so obvious to all of us who have studied and read so much that he is a Narc! My question - IS it normal for a Narc to self destruct publicly like Charlie Sheen has? I thought Narcs tried to hide who they really are?? I know they say and do stupid things from time to time but I thought they were very careful not to let the world see who they really are. The world now knows Charlie Sheen is a totally insane NARC! I don't think I've ever seen on the forums where a Narc went berserk and went on a rampage telling anyone who would listen how amazing they thought they were. Do you think something happened to push Charlie to this point? Was it the drugs? I'd love to see my Narc do a Charlie Sheen! At least he wouldn't be lying to himself and everybody else anymore! Thanks! Sara
March 29, 2011 - 10:17am (Reply to #7)
venuslovedpluto
venuslovedpluto's picture

Charlie Sheen

To me...based on his comments, sense of power, sexual vibe, it sounds like he's on methamphetamine in addition to the full blown narcissism. Yikes! It actually makes me a little nervous that this guy roams free.
March 16, 2011 - 12:38pm (Reply to #6)
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

RE: Charlie Sheen

I'm no doctor, but I have the feeling that he was a big time Narc before all the drugs and alcohol, and after years of abuse, his brain is LITERALLY fried. Like an egg. I don't think he could stop himself to protect his public image at this point. Looks like he has changed his brain chemistry and circuitry permanently and is too far gone now.
March 12, 2011 - 8:16am
divorcingonenow
divorcingonenow's picture

Crazy Making Behavior

Lisa, This is the part that people seem to have difficulty comprehending, and crazy-making is a good way to put it. Is there a place where you have talked specifically about crazy making behavior? It's like this aspect cannot be conveyed to others in words, unless they experience it with you and themselves. I have a close friend who gets it completely because she helped me survive daily when everything started hitting the fan for the last time, and she knows what all occurred. Thanks

DivorcingOneNow

March 11, 2011 - 9:50pm
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Comprehension.

Lisa, it frustrates me how carelessly people throw around the word narcissist. Especially after experiencing the effects of a true NPD. It seems like people don't fully understand it unless they are open minded or have had experience with it. I've tried explaining it to one of my friends and she didn't recieve it well. She thinks my exN is a jerk because he cheated but can't seem to connect with the whole PD thing or understand how differnt it is compared to detaching from a normal thinking man. It's almost hard for most people to digest this idea. Sometimes I think it's better that I don't say anything because the lack of understanding seems to counteract the healing process for me. As for Charlie Sheen, I don't think the general population gets that his narcissism is a disorder and is the real problem with him. People find it easy to think he behaves the way he does because he's an addict, not realizing that NPDs turn to drugs sometimes to numb the inner pain they are feeling, the emptiness. I can't tell you how much this site and the information I have found online have been a blessing in my recovery. I suspected he had NPD, but he kept throwing me off with his charm. It wasn't until I found out he was cheating and unveiled all of his lies and deceit did the puzzle pieces fall into place. It's been almost a month and I have had NC since the day I confronted him. I plan on buying your book and look forward to the second one because the healing process is brutal. In the meantime I'm looking into any information that will give me ideas and information as to how to get though this time.
March 12, 2011 - 6:20am (Reply to #3)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

ItsAllAboutMeNow

I'm so glad you found us and I love your forum name! It is time for you to find yourself again. We lose ourselves in a relationship with a Narcissist. You're right, other people just don't get it. They can't possibly comprehend it. No one understands what it's like to try to love a Narcissist unless they have been through it themselves. The more you understand their crazy-making behavior, the more quickly you will be on the path to recovery. Read all you can and talk to others here who know exactly what you're going through. It's healing to know you're not alone and I assure you, you are most definitely not. Narcissism is on the rise so more and more of us are finding ourselves in these abusive and confusing relationships. Congrats on 1 month of No Contact. That's wonderful! Huge progress! Stay strong and if you feel like talking to him, please come here instead. We are here for you and you are never alone. xoxo
March 11, 2011 - 10:11pm (Reply to #1)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Itsallaboutmenow...

I was just making a final sweep of the forum...it's 3am where I live but I wanted to say WELCOME! You've come to the right place...read, get knowledge, get power and yes, get strength! The members here are the most articulate, open, supportive, non-judgmental people I have ever come across and when I say they have been instrumental to my healing, that is minimizing it...actually, this site saved my sanity...I too had no idea what truck hit me... Like I said, right now operating on fumes, but I am so happy you have joined us...very sorry of the circumstances, but I can re-assure you that you will find a safe haven here. AND no, the outside won't understand...trust me...in fact, don't trust me...scroll through the threads...over and over and over..."My friends don't get it they think...." And thats because there is a lack of awareness...this is where you come to sort it all out...of course in conjunction with a therapist if you feel the need...which I might add is encouraged because of the damage and trauma most of us have suffered as a result of these disordered individuals... but you know what you need to do to heal. All the best! And again...welcome to the family. Hugs!
March 13, 2011 - 10:25pm (Reply to #2)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Lisa and Michelle115

Thanks for the welcome!!! This is a great way to support and help educate each other during the experience or the healing process. It's nice to see women come together and support one another epecially during such a vulnerable time. =)