My second book, “Surviving a Narcissist” will be coming out in a few weeks. I am frequently asked how to get over a Narcissist. While there is no magic pill, you CAN and you WILL survive. Recovery is possible.
Our forum is full of great ideas and suggestions from members getting over these emotionally abusive partnerships. Based on the collective wisdom of this amazing group, dedicated forum moderators, personal experience and lots of research, I have developed "The Six Steps to Surviving a Narcissist."
The first step in recovery is to understand the pathology of someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Step One: Understand It
We educate ourselves on the personality of a Narcissist. Knowledge is power!
Many people dismiss narcissism as harmless and say it's part of being human. Well, yes we all possess narcissistic tendencies. However, it is important to understand that narcissism falls on a spectrum. When a person’s narcissism becomes so severe that it consumes them, it develops into a pathological personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Put simply, pathological behavior describes anything carried to such an extreme that it becomes abnormal. For example, a Narcissist is so wrapped-up in himself that he is incapable of feeling emotions for others. A Narcissist actually believes that others exist to cater to his needs. A Narcissist has delusions of grandeur that are so extreme, they become comical. A Narcissist truly believes others should feel honored to be in the presence of their greatness.
Charlie Sheen’s recent comments in his war with Warner Bros. provide the perfect example of such pathological behavior.
• “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
• “I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”
• “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”
• “AA was written for normal people. People that don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. . . I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”
• “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.”
• “We work for the pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people.”
• “I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cured myself.”
• “The last time I took drugs, I probably took more than anyone could survive. I was banging 7-gram rocks because that’s how I roll, I have one speed, go.
• “What’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards and all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.”
Charlie Sheen helps illustrate the delusional behavior indicative of someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Sheen’s behavior can teach us a lot about the dangers of narcissism.
Narcissists believe the world revolves around them and people exist to accomodate their needs. Narcissists are manipulative, controlling and emotionally abusive to those closest to them. It is not just selfish, arrogant behavior that makes a relationship with someone like this difficult. It is much more devastating and thus, important to understand and recognize as early as possible.
Pathological narcissism is not something to dismiss or overlook. It is a RED FLAG you CANNOT ignore. If you or someone you know might be in a relationship with a Narcissist, please educate yourself on the dangers of staying in this kind of relationship by visiting us at www.allabouthim.com.
“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”
~ Henri L. Bergson