Have a Love Affair with Yourself this Valentine’s Day!

If you are here, you are most likely an Empath,which describes a person who is highly tuned into other’s emotions and extremely sensitive. It means you have an intense feeling of empathy and compassion for others.

Empaths are incredible listeners, naturally giving and always there for people they care about. Narcissists notice this immediately. They purposefully seek a partner who is compassionate and in tune with their never-ending needs. An Empath absorbs the emotions of others and will easily fall prey to a Narcissist, who uses others as an emotional sponge.

Empaths are very sensitive to suffering in the world and are often idealists who want to fix the world’s problems. Empaths have an incredible capacity for self-sacrifice and are often found volunteering or dedicating time to help others. People naturally feel comfortable sharing their feelings with an Empath because of their incredible ability to feel compassion and connect with others.

On the other hand, people also easily take advantage of an Empath’s generosity. Empaths are often exploited, used and sucked dry for everything they have, including the clothes off their back.

Whereas a Narcissist doesn’t connect well with others, an Empath connects too much. When Empaths are around peace and love, they flourish. However, when surrounded by an emotional vampire, like a Narcissist, an Empath is ravaged. An Empath absorbs the negativity, fear and rage of the Narcissist. So much so that they take on these problems as their own and try to fix things for their partner. This is precisely what a Narcissist is looking for in a partner and exactly why they seek out relationships with Empaths.

As I mentioned earlier, if you are trying to get over a relationship with a Narcissist, it is likely you are an Empath yourself. Narcissists target Empaths for a reason. They take advantage of us because they know we are giving, trusting and generous.

This Valentine’s Day, instead of pouring all of our energy into Narcissists who do not deserve it, let‘s have a love affair with ourselves!!

Some of us may want to get into a new relationship right away to distract ourselves from the process of mourning our ex. Unfortunately, doing this only keeps us stuck. We must FEEL our FEELINGS in order to move on. It is so important you do not rush into another relationship right now. Instead, channel it inward towards yourself. You need to take care of yourself for a change.

Although taking care of yourself will feel foreign at first, it is the best thing you can do for yourself. It is critical for you to spend time alone before jumping into a new relationship. You need to find yourself again. We will talk in more detail about the process of finding yourself in my upcoming book. For now, please remember, you should not rush into a new relationship. You need to enjoy the benefits of being alone. You owe it to yourself.

We spend way too much time trying to form and nurture relationships with others who could potentially be our soul mate, when the whole time we neglect to nurture and get to know ourselves! It's time to have a love affair with yourself!

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” ~Oscar Wilde

You are finally living in the light and moving away from the darkness. It is time to connect with yourself again! Being in touch with yourself and your true emotions is truly a gift that we all must cherish and embrace.

As Sinead O'Connor says in one of my favorite songs:

"Feel So Different"

The whole time I'd never seen
All you had spread before me
The whole time I'd never seen
That all I'd need was inside me
Now I feel so different
I feel so different
I feel so different

It is time for you to “feel so different” and have a love affair with yourself! You deserve it! Happy V-Day!

Apr 1 - 7PM
Monica's picture

I am an empath as is my son

I had no idea what was "up" with me until my young adult son described things happening to him and I was amazed he was describing me! He is the one who defined us as empaths. My son was constantly attracting disordered girlfriends in junior high, high school and college. I didn't experience my first N until I was 46 years old. I am thankful my son has realized who he is and now knows how to manage his empath abilities. He is in a healthy relationship (probably getting married) and he is independent and doing well, while his mom has just learned the hardest lesson of her life and is, at this time, devastated by having been taking in and verbally and emotionally abused by a narc. I am so happy he learned early and may have saved himself years of grief in his adulthood. This past Valentine's Day, my N, to whom I had given all my time, emotion, effort, money, support and encouragement for over 3 years (most as friends, the last 6 months as girlfriend/lover), did not want to celebrate Valentine's Day with me. I got a card, but only after I made it clear I was upset that we were not celebrating the holiday together. Next year....I celebrate with ME and give myself something great, like a trip to visit my kids or a weekend at a spa! My N DID target me because I was an empath. I was his "most trusted friend." When I innocently revealed to him I knew I was an empath and that is why I knew him so well for so many years, he started the D&D. I blocked him from my life immediately with the final D&D (which infuriated him) and have NO desire to be involved in another relationship anytime soon. Even going out with a male friend is very, very difficult.
Feb 1 - 12AM (Reply to #5)
ralstonsmith's picture


What valentine facebook status do you do when you away from your beloved, for example are in the Army published offshore or your precious is quickly existing in another nation. Valentine day Ecards are the best remedy to this predicament.
Feb 14 - 2AM
aceonelady's picture

Valentines day with myself.....

Hi Lisa...A very good day to you,and all th strong and beautiful women over here....Today i am celebrating Valentines day with myself...I am heading for the hairdressers,is 9:12 am ihere in Holland...is a sunny day....and when i am ready with that i am buyinng a bouquet of roses and eat some smoked salmon...i like myself again and i am celebrating that....In 4 years is the first that i am NOT sending ExN/P a card or some gift.....And i am feeling liberated(for now is a beginning...)Love and Hughs to you all......


Feb 14 - 4PM (Reply to #1)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture


I love that you are truly embracing this day to celebrate yourself! You deserve it! Now is the beginning for you! Lots of love and hugs!!!!
Feb 18 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
Fawn's picture

Love Affair

I love this post Lisa. I do feel like I have really treated myself pretty well since the N left. This year for Valentine's Day I treated myself to a Burlesque class. It was totally fun and I completely enjoyed the company of women in the class. I have always wanted to explore Burlesque since I saw the move "Gypsy" when I was a little girl. This Valentine's Day was the fourth anniversary of my mastectomy and reconstruction after breast cancer. So, I could really say that this was my fourth Valentine's Day alone after the N left. He was there for the surgery in the waiting room, shopping Ikea catalogs for shelving. (I'm not making this up, there was a witness). Getting my groove back has been an extra challenge for me--recovering from breast cancer, N leaving during my recovery and further treatment, raising 3 kids by myself. But I am getting it back, and it is on MY terms. I fully believe that spending the time to get to know ourselves without being distracted by what some man wants is the only way.
Feb 22 - 5AM (Reply to #3)
aaronkully's picture


Functions Holi Love Messages is in finish alternatives during may and with the actual the attention of the country men go to its greater during holi.