I just want to reiterate that venting, obsessing, over-analyzing and discussing your narcissist with others who understand it is a CRITICAL step in the process of recovery. We view it as the 1st step "Get it Out" and it is the initial reason why I created this board. The 2nd step is to "Understand It" and that is the other primary purpose of this board.
The fact that you are here talking about it means you are no longer lying to yourself about your relationship. That is HUGE! I lied to myself for years about my marriage. I didn't want to believe Prince Charming was not who I thought he was at all. Who wants to admit that to themselves! I know I didn't!
To be here acknowledging the fact that the man you fell head over heels with is a fraud is HUGE! Bravo for taking such a big step! I believe the first step can often be the hardest. Everyone will move through this step in their own due time. No one should rush another to move through it. Suggestions and gentle prodding may be offered, but no one should be made to feel badly for venting or obsessing. It is all part of the process and needs to occur before moving on to the next step.
As I mentioned yesterday, we are finalizing the Six Steps to Getting Over a Narcissist and will make these available to you as soon as possible. I'm hoping to finish writing the e-book/workbook in the next month or two.
There have been several suggestions to make this forum private, which we are looking into doing. What we share with each other in these first two stages is so very personal and private that it makes sense to secure this forum if that's what members prefer.
When we publish the 6 Steps, we will launch a new site called: www.allaboutrecoverynetwork.com.
The new site will have an open forum. One for women, one for men and one general discussion board. The new website will focus on the process of relationship recovery in general so those of you who have moved past Step 1 and Step 2, can spend more time on the new site if you prefer.
However, please know that we desperately need veterans to remain here and contribute their insight and advice to newcomers. Your experience is vital to helping people new to the process of getting over a narcissist. We hope those of you who enjoy helping others will stay and continue to offer your wisdom to those just starting to understand what happened to them. This site will not change with the exception of possibly going private based on feedback we receive from all of you as to what you prefer.
Thank you for being here for each other! No one understands better than we do what it's like to try to love a narcissist and the pain of realizing he was a fraud. I hope we can continue to support one another regardless of what stage of recovery we're in. xoxo