Have a Love Affair with Yourself

We spend way too much time trying to form and nurture relationships with others who could potentially be our soul mate, when the whole time we neglect to nurture and get to know ourselves!

I know that in the past, I have been guilty of thinking a man could meet all my needs and make me happy. I believe that society teaches young women this from an early age (i.e. Disney Fairytales where girl meets Prince Charming and lives happily ever after).

The Disney Fairytale does nothing but set women up for major disappointment in life. One person cannot meet all of our needs. That is just not possible. We are complex creatures with many different needs. Thinking one person can meet all of our needs is not rational and will only lead to disappointment. Disney needs to stop telling girls this is all they need in life. It's simply ridiculous.

We have to stop thinking Prince Charming will turn our life around. The only person who can turn our life around is ourselves. Unfortunately, it often takes us a long time to realize this. I can tell you that for years, I ignored my true self. I did this so I could deny my reality. In order to survive in a relationship with a narcissist, we learned very well how to disconnect from our true selves. It's the only way we could continue to lie to ourselves.

But, here's the beautiful thing! We don't need to lie to ourselves anymore! We are finally being honest with ourseleves for the first time in a long time. We have nothing to deny, fear or avoid anymore! This is a HUGE gift!

We are living in the light and moving away from the darkness. It is time to connect with yourself again! Being in touch with yourself and your true emotions is truly a gift that we all must cherish and embrace.

As Sinead O'Connor says in one of my favorite songs "Feels So Different"

The whole time I'd never seen
All you had spread before me
The whole time I'd never seen
That all I'd need was inside me

Now I feel so different
I feel so different
I feel so different.

And as Betty so eloquently wrote:

"I am here when you are ready to face me. You wonder why life is so turbulent. Why you are so grief stricken. Why life seems so unfair and painful. I will tell you it is because you wont face me. You wont own up to your end of the bargain and trust me, love me and nurture me.

But you turned your back on your best friend in the world, YOU. I am you. The one who will always be left standing in the end when everyone in your world fades. Who am I? I am your strength to get you through this dark moment in time. Im the one who knows your boundless capabilities. I am the one who fights for your survival daily. I am the one that has faith when you feel all hope is gone. Who am I? I am you. What am I? Your true inner self."

It's time to have a love affair with yourself! You deserve it! xoxo

Oct 14 - 5AM
smileyfacepr1's picture

Lisa and Betty

hi Lisa, its been awhile and to Betty all I wanna say is ...BRAVO..girl that was awesome..we r our own best friend or we can be our own worst enemy.....FANTABULOUS! xoxoxo
Sep 29 - 9PM
shortway's picture

So beautiful...I needed this

So beautiful...I needed this tonight..All I ever do is give give give,and I never give to myself..:)it starts now:)
Sep 3 - 6PM
tasha's picture


great post...and so true.I go away and come back...and always somewhere on this site...there is something that I need to read, that is so relevant to my life at that precise moment. It's All about me!!! Not him!
Aug 31 - 2PM
Playedwithfire's picture

In one of my last attempts

In one of my last attempts in text with my ex, I said "I want you to be the love of my life" to which he texted back "I want you to be my everything". Nothing spectacular happened after that means of communication and we split up anyways. But it wasnt until reading another post and this post it donned on me, how could I acutally be his "everything". I now realize that just isnt possible. Thanks for that post Lisa, I have self-talked today repeating "have a love affair with yourself", it's working. Playedwithfire


Sep 1 - 8AM (Reply to #1)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture


Good for you! Keep repeating it, sistah! :) xoxo