When I first started writing my book five years ago, I couldn't get it published. No one knew what a narcissist was. I spent twelve thousand dollars self-publishing it twice. The first book title was "When he's only into himself" and the second book title was "He's So Vain." You can look them up on-line.
A year later, I went to the Book Expo and pounded the massive convention center in heels for two days, approaching every publisher booth trying to get someone to believe in my book. NO ONE was interested. The subject was too dark, the topic was unknown, the cover of the book was too ominous and depressing. No one would want to read it, I was told. One man said, "This is the reason my brother's wife gave for leaving him!" as he dismissed me and laughed. I can't count the number of times I was turned away. After every rejection, I brushed myself off and approached a new booth.
Finally, I ended up at a booth where the President of the publishing company did listen to me. The name of the publishing company is Cedar Fort and they are a small Mormon publishing house in Utah. The reason he showed interest was because they talk a great deal in their religion about what they call "unrighteous dominion," which essentially means the "abuse of power." He explained that in their religion, they discuss a man's tendency to abuse his position of power in the church, at work and at home with his family. He actually recognized the seriousness of the issue and took some interest in my book because it was a topic they discussed a great deal in their religion. He's also interested in publishing my second book, "Narcissism in the Workplace" once I get it written.
It was an amazing feeling to finally talk to a publisher who saw the need to build awareness on narcissism. He understood the seriousness of it and the pain it inflicts on people. Finally, I met someone whose mission is to publish books that HELP people. Thank God.
Cedar Fort published my book and now you can find it on the bookshelves at your local Borders store. My publisher only asked that I add information on what "unrighteous dominion" is. If you look on page 78 of my book, you will see where I did this. When I submitted it to the editor for review, they only changed one word in the entire book. Other than asking me to add info. on "unrighteous dominion" and changing one word, they left my book entirely as I had written it.
The cover of my book is meant to grab one's attention. The purpose of my book is not to HEAL women from narcissists. It's to WARN them!!!!! I am building awareness on a topic that five years ago was a word few people even recognized. More than once, after telling people that I was trying to publish a book on narcissism, the response I got was "Oh, is that the disease where you fall asleep against your will?" They thought narcissism was narcolepsy!
I have dedicated the last five years of my life to building awareness on narcissism. I have lost two jobs, scared every man away that tried to date me and poured my entire savings into this cause. The way I paid for my SR Counseling certificate was with a tax refund check. I can think of a lot of other ways I could have spent that money. Oh, and I haven't paid a dime toward any publicity or PR since October of last year. If I was attention-starved, that would be my priority.
The reason I chose to get a certification is because people often e-mail me or Facebook me to ask if I will talk to them about their situation. I always do. Ask anyone who has asked to talk to me. I've spoken to several members of this board on the phone. I simply wanted to feel more qualified to do this so I pursued a certification in something I believed in.
I offered to pay for Barbara's coaching certification from Sandra Brown's Institute. I told her I would pay for her certification in whatever coaching methodology she chose. Again, if I were merely seeking the limelight, I would use this money to pay the publicist who got me on tv numerous times.
I researched a lot of different coaching methodologies and SR resonated with me. Because of the success I had when treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I connected with the principles of SR.
I got into the field of HR because I wanted to work in a career where I could help people. I've been practicing HR for over fifteen years and in this economy, I'm not helping people. Sure, some days I am able to help someone with their career, but those days are far and few between. Most of the time, I am downsizing or reducing headcount. I would LOVE to transition into a career where I could help people full-time. So YES, I am starting a coaching business of my own and YES, I will promote it with positivity and NOT doom and gloom.
I have to ask myself if NarcNarc devoted as much time slandering me into something a bit more productive, she might actually pull herself out of the rut she is in, but that's neither here nor there right now.
As far as the WGN tv segment, a couple of you hit the nail on the head - in a three to five minute television clip, they want something powerful and engaging. Like I said, I am not trying to HEAL women with my book, I am trying to WARN them. The average women who has not yet been affected by a narcissist, is not going to want to admit they might possibly encounter or be dating a Sociopath or Pathological.
In order to get on WGN, I was asked to submit a narcissist quiz to their producer for consideration. After getting it, they decided to have me on. I had no idea how they were going to handle the interview. I'm not hiding these clips by the way. I think it's funny that NarcNarc thinks she uncovered some big hidden secret. All my clips can be found on this website under Televison.
Point is, I got on WGN, a Chicago-based NATIONALLY SYNDICATED television show and I was able to build awareness on narcissism to an enormous audience of people spread across the states. That is my goal. To build awareness and I am proud to say I think I have contributed greatly to this cause.
I have never promised to heal anyone and I never will. However, I have learned a great deal in my experience and have picked up some helpful tools that I now feel comfortable sharing with people. Getting certified in a life coaching program I believe in was the last step before feeling I could launch this program. It's that simple.
People like NarcNarc want to turn it into something controversial and scandalous, but it's not. NarcNarc will always play the victim and now wants everyone to believe I have victimized her and all of you. I have nothing to hide. I am an open book, literally, and am simply continuing to better myself through education and want to share what I have learned with others.
Again, to those of you who have shown your support, I am truly grateful. You have no idea how much it means to me.