narc abuse

my heart is totally inside out (new here)

Hello everyone. I just found this site today and I am literally shaking with anxiety as I sit down to write this out. I don't even want to look at it on paper in some ways and I don't know where to start, either. Okay. So, I have been with a man who I thought was the absolute love of my life for a bit over a year. I am not going to get into details about the beginning of our relationship because it is massively triggering for me right now and I am skating on thin ice as it is on an emotional level. I consider myself to be a strong and fairly self aware person.