I've read through the narc characteristic traits. But what I'm curious about, are they the kind of people who are usually very charismatic and seem fun as a first impression? Are they very self confident? Or has that not really got anything to do with a narc specifically?
I am still questioning why he lied to me. Rather than wondering why, I should just understand that he has lied and will continue to lie like always. I am always trying to dismiss the lies.
Why do we defend them?
Why can't I just realize he was a liar and cheater and I should be happy to be rid of him?
Why is he still in my head?
Why do I still love him?
I have another question, if someone can answer?
Please can someone tell me if this guy sounds like a narcassist?
How do I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he is narc? Do they all have OW(I was OW and W told me so but he said she was calling many of his "friends", I am aware of at least 4 others who have come and gone or are constantly in the background ( or am I seriously that suspicious?) and how many of us do they charm out of our marriages? Is it the norm? Is it the challenge? And financial ruin? And abuse (verbal and physical). Okay now I am coming full circle...indicators are he is a narc!
This is where my confusion is, I don't know if he was really a narc, or if his words and actions were do to the fact that he was an alcohlic and abused drugs. I've been reading this site the last couple months, and I've seen alot of narcissist traits in him. And I just want to make sure before I tell my story.
Thank-you
mystified_62
I am not saying I am suicide. But I can honestly see how the pain left from a narc can be too painful to bare. And if the victim is already in tough shape from this "wonderful" world we live in, I cannot imagine the numbers being low. Or have I lost my faith in the strength of women? lol
I always have this nagging feeling that his new one will be treated so much better than I was because I was such a "f-up". So, do they get older and wiser and realize, after a ton of relationship failures that the one consistent thing is them? Do they lose energy as they get older and not want to go thru the time and bother to recruit another supplier? Maybe they could work a little harder and keep the one they have?
What are your thoughts on a narcissistic man improving toward his mate as he ages?
Hi Goldie
HELP! How does the victim of the Narc become a Narc themselves? When did I become the victim of the victim? My story is very small compared to others on this site, but it's a very confusing situation.
Hi, Narcissism is not contagious Perhaps he is under stress due to his own addiction issue's to his N and lie's to protect himself from having to explain or defend himself for going back or continuing contact Not an excuse, just what people do when they are addicted, they defend, justify, and rationalize their behaivor
If you want to remain friends with this person, I would keep the topic of their dysfunctional relationship off limits for now
YOU CANNOT get another sober and if he is drunk with addiction to this person, he will need to hit his OWN bottom, not much you can do about this
God bless,
Goldie
I married a N and did not know what the problem was until he was gone and I found this site. He left me a few times during our short marriage(1 yr.). When we got married he told everyone how proud he was that I was his wife then all of a sudden He was so mean when he left the last time. He left me for a woman that he was once engaged to a few years ago and his family said he left her about 3 times also. He spoiled my name by telling friends and his family members that I am a lunatic and I need help. He tells everyone that I need serious medical attention because I'm crazy.