narcspeak

oceangirl's picture
January 23, 2012 - 3:43pm — oceangirl

How do they all say the same/similar things? Does any other group in society say the same things (not to include friends in a social setting, or a group of teenages)?
The "Speak" is bizarre, awful, yet fascinating how it works.

Oceangirl

Comments

goldie's picture

Yes it is amazing

January 29, 2012 - 7:16pm — goldie

They are basically telling you what you want to hear. Mirroring you back at you. They are the great cons, manipulators. They all know the talk because they learn early on what people want to hear. They do not only con their "romantic" interests; they con everyone.

This is how they survive; how they secure continuous new supply.

God bless,
Goldie

oceangirl's picture

But how do they all say the

January 29, 2012 - 7:44pm — oceangirl

But how do they all say the standard things? Mine would also invent conversations. He also followed the 48 Rules of Power. Have you heard of that? You can google it.

goldie's picture

The Standard things......

January 31, 2012 - 10:32am — goldie

Are telling YOU what YOU want to hear. Any guy knows what a girl wants to hear, its just a case of whether or not the guy is lying to you about what you want to hear or not. To some extent most guys play the game at romancing women, some just are more manipulative and sneaky than others.

A basic con is always going to be the same. You are basically promising someone something that they want of which you have no intention of giving or following through on, so the words are going to be similar because they are mirroring back to you want YOU want to hear.

Once they figure out what you want to hear it is going to be the same rap and shit no matter who is slinging it.

This is not that difficult to do for people who are conning and manipulating you.

They watch you, they see what you want, what is important to you, what hurts you, what feeds you, what moves, you, what angers you, what entices you and then they feed you back the lines which you want to hear.

I have read the 48 rules of power. There are many things like this online. Scarey huh??

These manipulators do not need to read this in order to manipulate you, it is natural for most of them. They look for the weakness, the chink in your armour and they play on it. If you have fears, doubts, insecurities, they can see them and they feed on them. If you require praise about your looks or your performance then this is what they will give you and this what they will also take away to keep you unstable and insecure. It's a game to them and you are their prey.

The only way to avoid this is to NOT show people you do not know your inner core, this way they have no way of figuring you out in order to use and manipulate you.

Sad we have to be this way, yet with strangers or people we don't know that well, we need to keep our guard up, especially in the world we live in today.

God bless,
Goldie

oceangirl's picture

He is very scary. He caused

January 31, 2012 - 11:00am — oceangirl

He is very scary. He caused me to have friend and coworker troubles at work a few years ago by isolation, making me look crazy, etc., and was also starting to cause my son to have friend troubles, and isolate him. I am sure now, that he told my son things when he was about 4 or 5 (he is 9 now) to do when he was with other kids and it caused problems, the kids didn't want to play with my son, and the parents hated me. Scary, the thought and action behind these actions. Evil.
Mine also came back from Iraq even scarier than when he left. The issues only pile on, they never go away.

My friend told me the other day he tried to hit on her at work, all the while he lives with the girlfriend he left me for. I had to laugh, as it is so disgusting it almost makes you laugh. My friend told me that he gave her a bad vibe - well, ya, I guess so!

oceangirl's picture

Thank you so much. I only

January 31, 2012 - 10:47am — oceangirl

Thank you so much. I only mentioned the 48 Rules because he used to quote it, and he did, in fact, use it regularly.
He would even tell me a couple of times the games he played - he knew he did/does it.

His projection is interesting - I have gotten valuable information from him that way, sad to say.

Well, we have had no contact since last May, except for the absolute necessary contact I have to have until the divorce is final because we have a child. Dad has not called my son since last May. The Narc is a carbon copy of his own father. I hope after the divorce that we can have even less contact.

Thank you for your thoughts - this site is excellent!

Phoenix72's picture

It is...

January 24, 2012 - 6:18pm — Phoenix72

very fascinating to hear them project and gaslight.