Sounds like you have been through hell with your family. When you say you are writing the letter to her for yourself, that certainly makes sense, we also write a goodby letter to the Narc in our Support Group here on the forum as one on the assignments which helps greatly in letting go and of course saying goodby to a horrific chapter in our lives and like with any goodby there may be the good and bad times. Sounds like in your case there were few good moments with Mommie Dearest.

We highly recommend that you do that send the goodby letter to the Narc in our group, for a variety of reasons. Primarily you are writing it for yourself; not them. PD's do not care what you think or feel and will only turn it all around so that somehow you are to blame. Also sending anything in writing to a PD is never a good idea unless by a lawyer because they are twisted and they twist everything to shine a favorable light on themselves.

No matter how awful the letter portrays HER to be, she will be able to garnor favor with others, that you would kick her well she was down, she would say you and your husband are out to destroy her, first YOU got her drinking again and if that was not enough, now you are trying to set her over the edge. She would have a counterclaim for everything in the letter and most likely, especially if she is drinking would be looking to seek some type of revenge. What we put out there we get back and by putting her down directly, you subject yourself to others doing the same towards you. Suppose she sends or has someone send letters to people in your life, filled with lie's, even though many would not believe her, WHY even subject yourself to a crazy person's bullshit.

There is no need, write the letter for you to get it out, don't send it because you are just asking for more drama in your life by doing this.

Of course you have every right to do this and I completely understand why you would want to, I just know that most of the time, these things do not bring about closure, resolution, or any of that, they bring about tit for tat type of drama.

Be done with it, 50 years is long enough. Many of here have PD parents and while yes, it is a bitch, NC is the best policy with them as well.

God bless,
Goldie