seriously????

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#1 Dec 10 - 7AM
rebeccawho
rebeccawho's picture

seriously????

hmmm. its funny that even though i go through this story in my mind continuously, it would be difficult to communicate concisely here.
I met Stewart, my husband, about seven years ago. I had come out of an eight year live in relationship which i though was painful. Stewart and I became friends. I was incredibly wary of starting a new relationship. We hung out for months. Fishing, camping, etc. He didn't push me sexually during this time. He told me he would be good to my son and i. That he was lonely and had love to offer. I fell for him during this period because he seemed so genuine. Stewart is 58 and I am 42. Looking back, I think that made me feel secure and maybe a bit "in control". I let my guard down and let him in.
My life has been destroyed by him. In almost every possible way. I have been lied to, physically and verbally assaulted and abandoned by him so many times I cannot even count. Somehow I still remain locked in this head space of "why". I am pushing myself like a robot through each day. I have a restraining order and am in the process of a divorce, but seriously question my sanity at this point as his voice is in my head constantly.
Loser, whore, crazy bitch, skank, blahblahblah. I look around my home and in every corner there is evidence of his horribleness.
I have been glued to this site after months of trying to find answers for his behavior. He is definitely sick. I want not to be. I am most definitely still spinning. Thanks for listening.

Dec 11 - 4PM
confusedenough
confusedenough's picture

OMG Rebecca! whore, skank etc

Dec 10 - 9PM
Lookforward
Lookforward's picture

Terrible stuff here, rebecca-

Dec 12 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
rebeccawho
rebeccawho's picture

well, I was going to see

rebecca