Neverwas' story

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#1 Nov 22 - 4PM
neverwas
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Neverwas' story

My ex kicked me out about 3 weeks ago. I didn't realize I was being emotionaly abused until I was gone from him. I am now trying to pick up the pieces. After about a year into our relationship, I left California and moved to Virginia to be with him. I left California angrily as nobody in my family wanted me with him (In retrospect I understand why) and my dad said if I stayed with him, he was cutting me off. None of that mattered to me because I loved this guy. In California, I did not notice the verbal abuse. I chalked it up to words he didn't mean when angry and drunk. It wasn't until we got to Virginia when he completely changed. I met his dad who is a full blown Narcissist. I witnessed his dad verbally attack my ex tons of times. My heart went out to my ex. I conforted my ex after every episode, wanting to hug that child inside him that for all his life put up with this abuse. Then the day came when his dad verbally attacked me. I was in shock. I was wounded. That morning his dad told me I was the best thing to happen to his son. He said he loved me like family. Later on that same day he told me I was pathetic, that I was bringing his son down, and that I needed to get the f*** out of his son's life!
After that incident I stayed away from his dad. We didn't have a car and were living out in the country. Because of this my ex relied on his dad and spent alot of time with him. I feel like because of the whole family dynamics from being under his Dads thumb, his real self started to appear. Because the emotional abuse started. He started accusing me of flirting with other men right in front of him (I didn't have eye contact with a single person). He accused me of being a whore and sleeping with all the neighbors. He worked 3pm - 2:30am so he was away from the house quite often. He was convinced that I was living a double life during those hours and after only 1 month of employment, he quits because he doesn't like me being alone during those hours. In his eyes it is my fault.
His controlling behavior started subtly and progressed. He would constantly be correcting me or making decisions for me. He had to have his say about everything. He would say the cruelest things that would shake my core. He would say "I'm never touching you again. Your (private part) stinks. You are disgusting" He said he never loved me just felt sorry for me. He would call me pathetic, stupid, whore, psycho, bitch, crazy, ugly, fat. He said several times that he still loved his ex girlfriend and she was more woman then I would ever be. While he tore me apart with viscous words he also would describe wild, untrue scenarios of what I was up to. He said he knew my only goal was to screw him over. He said he knows I'm phony. That I act dumb but he knows I'm the dangerous kind of smart full of vindictiveness. He would build me up by telling me how beautiful I was one minute and knock me down the next telling me how ugly I was. He always said I would never find a man as good looking as him.
He said I was lazy and didn't do a single thing for him. He would complain that he is the only one who did anything in the house. That only he cleaned and cooked. Nothing I did for him was ever noticed. I collect monthly SSDI benefits for several mental illnesses and he had issues that I got paid for doing nothing but sit on my ass all day. He told me I was faking my mental illness and there were more deserving people who should be getting benefits instead of me. Yet, he had no issues when I used this money and to pay all the bills.
I have so much to say but need to take a breather. More to follow.

Nov 25 - 6PM
omgalso
omgalso's picture

Be very careful