libby's story

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#1 Sep 5 - 8PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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libby's story

I let a narcissist go thier own way

Hello everyone, my name is libby. I am 35 plus and have recently disowned my father who I believe is a narcissist based on all I have read about narcissim.

He went through a horrible rages when I was a teenager and even when I was a small child visiting my grandparents on holidays. I wanted to move back home with my mother and he became enraged . I suffered at least a week or two of physical and verbal violence.I remember while I was growing up there was always a crisis. I also have bipolar disorder.

He felt he has done nothing wrong in the past by abusing me verbally and physically. I remember that I was bipolar when I went to live with them and when I came home my paranoia was so much worse and to this day I often think people are calling me horrible names. He takes no responsibility for his actions and feels he has done nothing wrong. In fact the very last time we ever spoke recently he asked when this even had taken place when I was a teenager. He did at that time say he never wanted to see me eve again and denies he ever said that.

He has used my illness against me also and then says in turn that I imagined those things being said because he never said them. Never once in my life has he ever apologized for anything he has ever said that was unpleasant or unfair. I told him that I wanted to go on with my life but that I loved him very much and I won't forget him.

I hope that my new treatment for the post traumatic stress disorder that he caused can help me and maybe I won't think that people are saying such horrible things about me. I hope that my memory can improve also.I have had some flashbacks of my childhood since I have said goodbye to him for the last time. I wonder what this means and if it could possibly mean there is hope for me to get more mentally well.I haven't had these types of flashbacks for many years. They were good memories based on mostly feelings.

I know my dad is a narcissist and now I might need anger management myself deal with all the years of dealing with a narcissist. I am very open to any comments or even any negative comments about my father. I really want to know if there is hope for getting better mentally after dealing with a narcissist for long.

Thank you

Sep 6 - 2AM
grossot
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libby

Sounds like your father was using crazy making tactics to get you to think the abuse never happened. You couldn't help him. His actions caused him to be in the position he's in right now. You are giving yourself the gift of no contact. Please be sure to look up all the info you can on ACON. Hugs nolongercontrolled
Sep 6 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
libby (not verified)
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thankyou

Hello grossot, I know they say that you grieve the narcissist but I feel a new sense of new and wonderful spiritual energy. It's like my brain has been half asleep and now I'm seeing the beauty of life for once. I do have some grief but I think it will pass. I'ts true he is a narcissist. I remember how most of our conversations were boring to him and I sensed that he was seldom ever happy when I was happy if it didn't have something to do with him. I guess I need to think of those terms more often that I am no longer controlled. Thankyou for your support, I'm getting my sanity back! libby