I'm sharing my story

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jan 11 - 9PM
Chesil laura
Chesil laura's picture

I'm sharing my story

Hello everyone.

I hope I'm posting this in the right place.
My name is laura and I have just ended a 3 year relationship with a narcissist. I only realised yesterday that he was one and I'm disappointed in myself. Especially looking at all the signs. I'm a nurse, and I'd like to think I have self esteem and confidence however I look at the evidence and I can't believe what I tolerated.my ego is still trying to tell me I'm wrong. Even though it's staring me in the face.

Ok so I met my ex on a dating website 3 years ago and we hit it off. He was always upfront about being a rubbish communicator via his phone from the word go and I just accepted it. So in the beginning texts wouldn't get replied to and calls UN answered.he said it's who he is. We started dating , then confirmed our status about 1 month later.
We shared the same sense of humour and we were very silly. He has two daughters from a previous relationship and I was lead to believe that he got on well with their mother and things were all good in his life.so we starting dating and it was fab. He was starting up a restaurant when I met him and we quickly became inseparable. I helped him with the business etc. I suppose he was romantic but still managed down my expectations of him.

Not long into the relationship out of the blue one night he ended the relationship whilst I was about to go to sleep next to him. I was obvious shocked and remained in the bed till the morning to see if he had changed his mind.he went to work, I went home devastated wondering what the hell had happened. He text me asking if I was ok and to see if we could talk. I then gave him another chance. Never got an apology.

Things were ok for a few months,but I saw a weird side to him when I had a sickness bug from the hospital. He went to the pub and left me on my own all day. I had to ring my mum to get hold of him to help me out of bed due to I kept collapsing. He made out that I was over reacting. I let it go thinking I was asking too much.

I remember I said I loved him after we stayed at some friends house, about 5 months in, and he just looked at me and started crying. Saying he didn't feel the same and had a go at me. The next day he forgot it all.

His ex didn't like the fact we were dating and stopped him from seeing his daughters unless he paid her more money.he said she had mental health issues and was a control freak. She messaged me saying that he will never see me as being important and will let me down.she said more but he got me to delete it.

At this point I had qualified as a nurse and was working on a busy surgical ward. I looked for any support from him and he point blank said to me that he will not give me any emotional support.he said he never cries, and crying annoys him. I was a bit annoyed as I'm soft as anything. I'm very empathetic. We went on holiday together and once we got back he ended the relationship as I was unpacking my bags, and I had just moved into his apartment. So once again I left devastated. I cried my eyes out in his arms , we had literally just got back. Same thing , he begged me back the next day, saying the whole I love you rubbish.and I agreed.

We sorted stuff out with his daughters and we moved into a house , the four of us, having them shared custody. Things were ok, but he dropped the bombshell on me he didn't want anymore children.I was gutted and said I did. I was thinking about what to do when I returned from a night shift to be met with him ending the relationship again. So I went to my mums. He wanted to see me, begged me back etc. But I said I would but I'm moving out due to not wanting to live with him.thinking this was the issue. The whole children issue had been forgotten.

He didn't have a good relationship with his family and after spending xmas with mine and going on another holiday ( 3 months after I moved out) he dumped me again. This time he said he felt no connection, was too busy , didn't feel right. I wrote him a letter and guess what? Yes I took him back again!! He claimed to want to marry me and have a family, and he was just under stress etc etc. He asked me to move back in , which I was going to but not unless I was sure about babies. He confirmed he wanted children with me.

However the year from hell proceeded. The relationship was bearable. The children were taken away again. I filled out solicitors letters , wrote to child agencies for him. He just wrote them off.we argued all the time, about his kids, about how I was too emotional, my feelings were my opinions, he didn't have to agree with me.he started belittling me in front of people. He left me whilst we were out in town and threatened to call the police if I turned up at his house. Which is were I was living.I took him to paris for his birthday, and it was like I was invisible for the whole week. When we got back I had had enough and left him. He wanted to remain friends and blamed all his behaviour on his children.
I went away for two weeks to clear my head and when I returned he said he's over it all. And started seeing someone new. He didn't tell me straight away. He restricted me on Facebook but not my family and put it on there. So I phoned him, and he said yes he's with s o me one, didn't expect it to happen, he wouldn't be bothered if it was me and was happy.
He then randomly messaged me on my birthday ( 3 days ago) to tell me that even though I don't want to hear from him, that's things are sorted with his kids again. No happy birthday message.

So sorry that's long, it's a brief account of my hell. I've just read moving forward which is why I am here. I've cried too darn much over what should have ended yonks ago!! Cheers for reading xx

Jan 15 - 5AM
Lookforward
Lookforward's picture

Ugh! He was beating you down

Jan 15 - 7AM (Reply to #7)
Chesil laura
Chesil laura's picture

Thank you so much for your

Jan 14 - 6PM
ItsFinallytime
ItsFinallytime's picture

Welcome. You're in the right

Jan 13 - 5PM
Chesil laura
Chesil laura's picture

Has anybody else been

Jan 14 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Lookforward
Lookforward's picture

I call him heartless due to

Jan 14 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
Chesil laura
Chesil laura's picture

Cheers for your comment. It's

Jan 14 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
talktothehand
talktothehand's picture

As Lookforward suggested