Slowly moving on

Wow, never thought this preoccupation with my N -ex would be so...persistent.

Of a thousand things I could offer -- it certainly has been a journey -- there is one that I cant shake.

An N has no empathy for you, but it is also impossible for you to have empathy with them. You can have compassion, but you cannot "feel" what they are feeling, or put yourself in their shoes. It's exhausting.

The reason is that you are expecting adult behavior and awareness from a 4 year-old. That's why you will drive yourself nuts trying to have a dialogue (in your head, or in reality) with the N about what happened.

4 year-olds are proto-humans; they are parasitic, and need to be told what to do. and sometimes, there's only one word that a kid understands (and say it loud):

"NO! NO ________, I will not have this discussion with you. NO, NO, NO!"

[and "GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"]

Say it in your head -- it helps.