1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. Can't take this anymore...

Can't take this anymore...

3 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Aug 16 - 12PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Can't take this anymore...

I posted a comment similar to this lament over at Barbara's site, but I feel like I need all the help I can get right now.

After getting the N out of my house, and going through a period of relief, empowerment, and a great deal of personal growth, I find I am right back to the same old soul sickness that defined my relationship while I was living with the man. Not just soul sickness, but I literally feel like I could or should puke.

Now my daughter seems to be turning away from me and towards him, and the secrecy around this, the lies, and the morsels of attention intermixed with disrespect I get from her, feel so very frighteningly like the way it was with her father. She is not him. I respect and love her, but it feels the same to me. It feels like betrayal, again. I was very young and alone when I had her. He didn't come along until she was around 5. So the irony is almost tragic.

It was wonderful to lose him, and it still is, but to lose my daughter? That seems unendurable to me. And that is where I'm at right now. The pain is overwhelming. I don't know how to handle it, or what to do to take care of myself.

When will this end? Is there hope in sight? Do we have to lose everything to the N?

Aug 16 - 3PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

PTSD

this is PTSD - search this site and my site for information. are you in counseling? make sure the PTSD is addressed. Sandra Brown has some products that may help you. Now that he's gone it will take at LEAST 18 months... sorry that's the gold standard... and will not just go away on its own. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily "Some women can fake an orgasm. But some men can fake an entire relationship!" - Sharon Stone
Aug 16 - 2PM
Chloe
Chloe's picture

NO! You don't have to lose everything to the N

In Response to Theotherbed: I want you to know that you are going through the healing portion, if you let it continue. I promise you, you WILL NOT lose your daughter. I went through the exact same thing. While our intellect knows the truth, it's our emotionality that takes such a bruising. This is a very difficult time. Your emotions are raw. This man (was he your husband/father of your child?), he will screw up, and your daughter too will see, and in the end, you will be the one she comes running to and respecting so much more. I learned the hard way. Like you, I was just barely going through the motions, the pain was ENORMOUS, but I did everything I could to help myself. I went to therapy, went on line for these kinds of support groups, read-read-and re-read all I could about pathological narcissism, and when I would start to weaken, I went back and read more. I bought books on narcissism, probably everyone on the market, and I read every article I could get my hands on. I also learned meditation, I bought self-help books, I exercised and had massages, and I let go and let GOD; spirituality played such an important role. I prayed and my higher power listened. And in the end, I lost all the guilt, the pain, even the feeling of loss, and I made so many gains for myself in all ways. The best advice I can give you is to totally remove him from your life. That is the first step in healing. Believe in yourself!