Opinion on whether he really is a NARC!

I know no one can give a diagnosis but I've recently started doubting whether he is narcissist even though every fibre of my being tells me otherwise and need some opinions! I have known him 17 years since we were at University. Two years ago after my husband died he and I became a lot friendlier and now when I look back on some of the things he said and did even before we got together, I feel they are strange. On a few occasions I suggested he shouldn't do something or perhaps behaved in a wrong way about something and he got disproportionately angry or told me he was going to unfriend me on Facebook. When we first started getting closer one week he loved me the next week he "felt nothing".

He also told me how much he was "empathising with people too much at the moment", I always thought that was an odd thing to say but now I know lack of empathy is one of the signs of the disorder I think he read about the signs of NPD himself and was tying to be different! When we first got involved he kept going on about wanting emotional intimacy with me, one of the markers is inability to be emotionally intimate, again I thought him saying it was a bit strange.

He has always gone seamlessly from one relationship to another and when I look at the partners they are all so different, it's almost like it doesn't matter who they are, what they look like, what their personality is like as long as they are there to provide him with attention/affection.

His wife left him when their daughters were 7 and 3, he always maintains he doesn't understand why. I think you don't leave your husband (after having emigrated half way round the world away from friends and family) when you have two young children unless there is a real problem! His girlfriend after that he was with for two years, he told me more than once how filthy the sex was but that he didn't love her, the girlfriend after that he was with for three years "he loved her but didn't like her", apparently she wasn't very supportive of him and withheld sex for the last year and a half.

Then after that he was with a woman for 6 months I recall him telling me he didn't think he would ever love her. they split up for a month half way through because he told her he still had feelings for his ex, this woman's response was that he should go and be on his own for a while. He then brooded for a month and turned her into this thing that he messed up and couldn't have (I would stake my life on the fact that if she had sobbed and begged him not to finish it then he would not have felt so strongly about her!) and then when he got her back he was suddenly madly in love with her and going to marry her. She finished with him after another three months saying they were too different. The woman he was getting involved with in the discard stage with me was going through a difficult divorce and he had "emotionally connected" with her apparently!

I think his ex wife or someone must have called him a narcissist in the past or he has def read up about it because when I emailed him saying I couldn't be friends anymore I didn't call him that but I did it tell him that he was manipulative and seemed to just want attention from people and he emailed me back calling me a narcissist which I think is completely strange. It's like he realised that's what I was heading to and thought he would get in there and call me it first before I said it!

When I first went no contact 8 weeks ago he regularly switched his approach, one min be would send me a facebook message saying "should I just delete you if you don't want to be in touch" (threatening) then "I miss you, I always wanted to be your friend" then when that didn't work "I knew I was right and you wouldn't be able to just be friends with me" and then after a while he sent me a weird Skype message where he said "if you're upset I'm sorry" (but shrugged as if he didn't give a shit) then said you can call me whenever you want (to be honest it was really strange!).

When I eventually blocked him from facebook, he was so injured that that's the first time he sent me an email resembling a genuine apology, but I know the only reason he did it was because he finally realised I was serious about not being in touch and none of his other approaches had worked so he was finally going to have to really say sorry and take some responsibility (or at least act like he was!). When I then emailed him back saying I didn't want to speak to him anymore (an error I know, I should have just NOT spoken to him) he then sent me an angry email back saying some horrible things, "thank f*ck you are out of my life if this is who you think I am". Even then he switched from nice to being horrible in the blink of an eye.

I had to email him last week about something to do with his daughter and I received another long apologetic email taking all the blame for how he treated me as if the unkind email before never happened!

I'm not mad right? He def has some kind of personality disorder?