Hoovering?

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#1 February 15, 2017 - 11:15am

Hoovering?

Hi everyone im new here, i just wanna thank Lisa Scott and everyone for spreading awareness. I wondered why did my ex Narccisst never hoovered me? i went fully no contact but i didn't block him on anything neither did he. We broke up 3 years ago and never heard anything from him? Does that mean that he fully used me up a supply? we dated just 9 months? thanks in advance

February 18, 2017 - 11:18am

There are narcissists who do not hoover

Absolutely. When they are done they are done. If it has been made crystal clear to them you are no longer in the game, I mean crystal clear OR they see nothing in it to gain, you will not hear from them, unless time goes by and they are low on supply or insanely jealous of the great life you are leading, they may come back as an inquiry hoover (just to gloat and make you feel bad or they are bored, or curious if you are really over them). It's a difficult call as many hoover years later. So you cannot make this call, YET. Generally though, you are never going to get two honeymoon stages so if you go back years later, you will be sorry as the good stuff is limited to new supply, which of course you are not, you are old supply at that point. Your second honeymoon stage will be short lived. Having said all this, there are examples of those who never heard from them again. My son's father hoovered 20+ years later. It was comical really and i felt nothing. He sent me a Christmas card. I looked at it and said, whatever, and of course he found someone else in the meanwhile and that was the end of that. No more Christmas cards. The majority hoover at some point, just because, or do to the fact that old supply is easier to suck in than new supply, requires less work in most cases. I have found that most people who ask the question want a hoover or else you would be glad he's gone and leave it at that, not saying this is you, just that most of the time it is the case. If a narcissist does not hoover though, it has NOTHING to do with whether or not they are a narcissist or whether or not you are hoover worthy. The hoover is NOT a complement. If they hoover after treating you like crap and you take them back, it is simply saying that either you still don't get it or your self esteem is still low, or you are still in denial. If they don't hoover it may be because they view you too strong or unlikely to give in to the abuse.

Goldie xo

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