He only wanted to kiss my tears, and other lightbulb moments

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#1 Dec 7 - 9AM
Mullers
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He only wanted to kiss my tears, and other lightbulb moments

I am having such a revelation day, I am sure I will have days when I struggle but the more I learn today, the more clearly I see things.

Repeated flags that kept scrolling across my brain for the last few months were:

Why is he never happy with us being happy?
Why does he always cause such chaos?
Why is it then he now works hard to make me happy, really work hard, then POW throw in a blinder to make me cry, then hold me and kiss my tears?

Now it makes sense...

He has no feelings, he is fascinated by feelings, and loves to be the one to make things better - only things he created in the first place, not other stuff that I genuinely would have appreciated his kindness on and comfort/support over.

At our last reconciliation I had given up asking for a list of things for him to work on as a deal for us to get back together. I asked only one thing: be kind.

Now I realise that when the only thing I ask of my other half in a relationship is to be kind - how cruel and low and damaged he has become (or revealed). Of course, knowing that this was the one thing I wanted, he proceeded to be extremely unkind. Madness...

Wow

Dec 9 - 8AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Keep a journal, keep getting

Dec 7 - 3PM
Mullers
Mullers's picture

My kids, My girlfriend, My sister, the mother of my kids

Dec 7 - 1PM
Callie
Callie's picture

Much the same

Dec 7 - 11AM
Lookforward
Lookforward's picture

He is an abuser, Mullers.

Dec 7 - 10AM
ItsFinallytime
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It more than just wanting to

Dec 7 - 10AM
ItsFinallytime
ItsFinallytime's picture

It more than just wanting to

Dec 7 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Mullers
Mullers's picture

I agree - he even said he thought he might be a narcissist