Fighting the urge

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#1 Nov 4 - 12AM
ambrandon7
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Fighting the urge

This no contact thing is eating away at my insides right now....My boss cornered me to inform me that I am getting a final written notice about my excessive absences. (Absences I acquired while riding the rollercoaster with my NARC) She was totally sweet and understanding about it but I'm so angry. I hate him. Once again I'm left to deal with the fallout alone of mistakes we made together. It's unfair. I want so badly to text him a big fat "F YOU!" But I know that will just give him some sort of perverted pleasure knowing he still controls my emotions. It's even harder to accept that while I'm suffering he feels nothing. Before I came to the realization that he was a narc I could at least comfort myself with the thought that he was pining for me and miserable. But now what am I left with??? The knowledge that he most likely has moved on to his next victim and doesn't think about me at all? Knowledge doesn't feel like power tonight it feels more like a curse. I wish I could erase him from my mind like the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" I just wanna numb my brain and I'm stuck at work wanting so badly to contact him and express my hurt.

Nov 5 - 8PM
Radiant
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One Moment At A Time

Nov 4 - 8AM
spinning
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I know, ambrandon!!

spinning

Nov 4 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
ambrandon7
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Thank you so much (not)