Goodbye Asshat

Dear Asshat

Over the past 10 months our relationship has gone from bad to worse.
So lately Ive been thinking about you ....you STUPID STUPID abnoRmal thing...

Do I really Love you..
The answer is attracted perhaps, addicted but definitely not love.

I hate the fact that you wanted to destroy me mentally and emotionally on PURPOSE!.
Had I stayed with you longer you probably would have punched me.
The day you pushed me into the toilet and I hit my head hard would have been the beginning of physical abuse (because I tried to leave)

I had empathy for you because your life appeared hard (self inflicted)but not anymore.
I doubt you even know what the word means.

Do I like you?
The answer is no.

I was closing my eyes to the bullshit.
I ignored it,I must have really been in crazy mode and insane.

You tried to break me in like a dog.
Every time I tried to leave you, you called me a slut, whore, bitch,prostitute and crazy.
I stayed with you out of fear of what you are capable of doing to me if I do leave you..
You wanted to start a rumor about me because your life is filled with hatred.
It's all about control,blackmail,lies,manipulation and revenge.

I would wish you well Asshat, but I don't care about you enough to do that, not anymore..
Your work with Max..you knew in your gut for 1 year your job with him was not secure.
Any normal "proud" man would have started looking for new work. But you are lazy and waited
until the bitter end.But I must hear you complaining non stop!

The way you react to things is extreme and not normal, everything has to be on your terms, or not at all.
There is no passion ,enthusiasm ,joy and laughter on any level ..you are NOT normal.
Everything upsets you....
Hitting your neighbor because he made a bit of noise.
The older you get the worse you will be.
You get angry because I have legs.
You want me to walk with my head down in case I look at a guy.
Your jealousy is extreme, even though I never gave you reason.
You ridicule my illness.

You see things through your eyes only and never cared how I feel.
I gave you so much of myself,understanding, patience,compassion,my time and my body.
I tolerated so much of your treatment to me, your bullshit, because I felt sorry for you and I was addicted....not anymore Asshat.

The sex was mechanical (8pm-10pm)
I acted out and pretended to have 15 orgasms a night hahahaha you dumb Idiot!!!
I stroked your ego because I believed your sorry Ass about your horrible "bitch" ex girlfriends.
When you gave me that "long intense stare" in bed...you looked like a stoned kangaroo.
I hope your funny penis turns black and falls off.....really I do.

You have held everything I shared with you in confidence against me.
My pain, my anguish, my illnesses,my body,my looks,my character,my pets,my job, photos,my family,my friends...you name it...you have
slandered,ridiculed,humiliated and insulted them all.
I did not ever feel safe around you.
I never knew what would trigger any of your rages and fits.
You rage about the most stupid things!

I do remember the "famous" day when I went to Switzerland.
You were playing on your computer and I asked why you lie about your age on your dating profile.
I also asked why you have a dating profile while you are still with Katia.
It was YOU who went into rage mode...I laughed at your stupidity...that's all.
So I just pretended I can not remember" and went to see my father and family, and you went to play with Noemsie.

What really scared the living shit out of me was the thought of you wanting to come live with me...
I can't think of anything worse than sharing a home without laughter and music.
A boring life walking on eggshells,your anger about the most stupid things, rage attacks and silence.

Thank you for nothing.
This is my closure Asshat
I wish you nothing... only that your penis and your brain rots.