Update: There is Hope

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Oct 13 - 8AM
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Update: There is Hope

When I joined this forum 3 years ago, I used to look for posts that gave me hope. I wanted to read a post from someone who was recovered and hear how they were living life post Narc. Im hoping to provide some hope for all of you.....there is light at the end of the tunnel.

3 years (almost to the day) I walked out of my home with my 3 young boys....just the clothes on our backs!!! We were homeless for 2 months. It was the worst time of my life.

To rewind a bit....I divorced my husband of 13 years a year and a half before this day. He was an emotional abuser, very controlling who created a prisonlike envrionment for me and my boys. Was he a narc?? Possibly, however toxic no matter what you'd like to label him as. The same month of my divorce, my mother who was my rock, suddently passed away. I felt as if I lost everything. As I struggled to start over with my children, in walked the textbook Narcissist Sociopath who brought me to this site and added insult to injury.

We all know the drill...he waltzed in with his mask on....fed me a bunch of horseshit lies and promises only to mooch off of me financially (I had some money from the split of my married home) I move in with him.....fix up his house...12k and almost a year and a half later...Im homeless and hit rock bottom with my 6,8 and 9year old children....ugh!!!!!!

I went thru my depression period....diagnosed with PTSD....but managed to pick up the pieces one day at a time. I through myself into books and research and found this forum. I lived here daily for about 9 months!!!! If you do the work and most importantly remain NC with these animals.....you can and WILL recover.

Like I said, it's been 3 years for me....since then, Ive managed to buy a home (thankfully I didnt give all of my money from my married home to my narc),I changed careers and have a job that I love (it's not huge money but it gives me the flexibility to be home for my boys) and I am soooooo gooooood at picking up the narc radar.....Ive become more self confident and developed a self love from focusing on me all this time......

Now....Im NOT going to lie and tell you that my life is full of sunflowers and fresh sunshine.....I financially struggle, I still have to deal with my exh who still tries to control me.......and because Im the type of person that I am and Im sure most of you are, I struggle at times to stay in control and not allow my exh and other toxic people in my life empower me...but damn it Im SO much better at it then Ive ever been!!!!!! My exN sociopath still finds ways to contact me and Im proud to say that I NEVER EVER engage......If you NEVER engage they lose power like a deflated balloon.....I actually laugh now thinking about how pissed he must get when I never answer him.....ahhhhh its the little things that make me smile:)

Keep working....Keep educating yourself...keep focusing on you.....If YOU dont make yourself happy...no one else will!!!

Oh and as far as dating.....yes Ive tried..met some narcs and toxic idiots but also met some nice men but just wasnt feeling it (I guess Im not ready)....I know...its been 3 years but its my own timeline and im content being on my own right now and making sure my boys are healthy and happy and dont grow up being delinquents:) My time will come and so will yours.
Be patient....take your time....and remain NC...it really is the best gift you can give yourself...and remember...there is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel...Im living proof!!! xoxo

Oct 14 - 8AM
Lorraine
Lorraine's picture

Thank you

Oct 13 - 3PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Nice to hear from you. Thanks

Oct 13 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Keep the Buzz Alive JM

Oct 13 - 8AM
Neya1217
Neya1217's picture

thank you!