Feeling a little low today

Hello Everyone,

It's been a long time since I posted but I'm reaching out today for some support.

Things have been going well. I have maintained complete NC with the ex narc. Changed my social circle, completely blocked him and avoided anywhere I thought he or his entourage may be. It has been hard work, but life has slowly pieced itself back together. I even like myself again :) Home life with my little girl is peaceful and drama free. I am learning once again to nurture myself and take time to appreciate the simple pleasures in life.

12 months NC came and went, I didn't even remember the date. He had started to diminish from my thoughts. The frantic spinning had slowed and I felt my recovery was well underway.

Two days ago I bumped into an old acquaintance. We only spoke for a few minutes but he told me that the narc got married last month. I smiled and said that was nice and I hoped he would be happy. Not possible I know! I made my excuses and left. I felt sick, upset, angry, worthless.........Why?

I know all this marriage means is long term supply for him. That she means nothing more to him than I did. Pangs of jealousy have hit me. I am questioning why I wasn't good enough. What does she have that I dont? What is wrong with me?

I thought I had passed this stage. I don't want to care about him or what he does. I want this individual out of my head. There have been tears and an overwhelming feeling of shock.

I suffered very badly both during and after this awful abusive relationship. Now I feel so incredibly low and am searching for the energy to brush this off as a minor setback and continue with my recovery.

Thank you for listening and God bless x