My fairytale turned nightmare ( super long story… Sorry)

Hey Yall! This is my first post on this site even though I have been readying everyone’s post for a few months now. I am ready to finally write MY story, but I will warn you it may get a little long as there is a lot to say! So this is what I thought was my fairytale but soon turned in to what felt like was a nightmare. First off let me start with a back ground story. Growing up I had two half-brothers. We had the same mother but not the same father. They were older than me and I definitely looked up to them. I also had the best time with them; they protected me, played with me and acted like how brothers would act. Well one day they decided they were going to leave and go live with their dad and not have anything to do with me. So after then I was pretty much an only child. Fast forward about 12 years and my brothers slowly start making their way into my life. Both married now. My oldest brother married to a girl who later will become my best friend. I will get into her a little bit later. This year will change my life forever. The same time I start getting my family back together I get a chance to move out of my small town and move to the city life in a different state for an internship. Of course it seems like a bad time to leave but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I was extremely excited but very nervous as change can be very scary. I was leaving behind everything I knew and everyone I knew including my 8 yearlong boyfriend. We were high school/ college sweethearts. He was my best friend but we had started drifting apart at this time and I knew moving away would eventually end us. So anyways it was the night before my big move and my sister in law (the one I had talked about before) threw a going away party for me. This is the night that I wish had never come! At this party I met my sister in laws younger brother who would later become my exNH. He was so attractive and charming. We hung out with each other the entire night all up until he got extremely drunk and we had to put him in bed. The next day I wrote him on facebook telling him it was good meeting him and that maybe we could do it again one day. He instantly wrote me back and gave me his number and told me to text him. And so everything started. We talked all the time and things moved very fast. It was that whole over the fence world series kind of love. I ended the 8 year relationship (which exNH loved to brag about to everyone), I deleted a whole bunch of my friends, and gave up the best time of my life living away from home in a whole new city for him. I still lived in that city but as far as going out and experiencing life like I should have I just stayed glued to my phone. He was perfect, loving, attentive, ambitious, kind hearted, religious, caring…. Everything I had ever wanted. We visited each other occasionally and those visits were amazing! He definitely threw me so many red flags now looking back on everything but I of course just blew them all off. My friends/family use to always say there is just something off about him but I never listened. I was given the opportunity to extend my internship and continue to live in the city for a few months longer but declined it because I wanted to rush home to start a life with exNH. Finally moving home everything started off great. We always hung out, always went on dates, he always showed me so much affection. I was so unbelievably head over heels in love with this boy (and yes he is a boy as he is only 22, and I am 1 year older). His family was great, my parents learned to love him and his sister (my sister in-law) and I became best friends. One thing that through me for a loop though and something that kept coming up in our relationship was the whole sex thing. At first he wanted to wait until we got married which we talked about doing but one day that changed and we had sex for the first time. Immediately after we got done he started freaking out that he got me pregnant. I kept trying to calm him down but he freaked out, made me take a pregnancy test before my period even came and would constantly ask me if I thought I was. I thought maybe this was him just be unexperienced because he told me I was only his second but then every time we did it he would do the exact same thing. I don’t know if it was just a test to see how much I would put up with or what. Well anyways a month after moving home he proposed to me in front of all of my family and his. I was thinking everything was moving really fast but it was one of those we just know things. After the proposal everything started to change. He was never really mean or abusive he was more controlling; he put me down a lot, he was king of the silent treatment. He would always tell me when he thought another girl was attractive or if he had dated that girl. He always told me “oh I think you would look better if you did your hair like this or dyed it this color.” “Don’t wear those shoes” “I don’t like that shirt.” He would also always be like “hey my friend invited me to this party. You are more than welcome to come but I don’t really care if you’re there or not, I’m going regardless.” He was all about his family including his sister. Him and his sister were extremely close, I believe a little too close. They always did things that I was like ummm dude that’s your sister!!! They would always be together, always touch each other’s butts and boobs, have even kissed on the lips, they lay in ways they shouldn’t. It just all seemed very weird to me but I looked passed it because I thought hey they are just super close family. So as time drew closer to the wedding things just kept getting worse and worse. I found myself crying almost every day and just being physically drained. I thought it was just the stress of the wedding but looking back it’s because I was constantly being mind fucked by not only my exNH but by his sister also. 3 nights before the wedding my exNH sat me down and said he was so sorry for everything he had done that we were both just stressed about the wedding and that we were just taking it out on each other. That he loved me and things would get better after the wedding was over and we were able to just start our lives. I believed him and was just so happy that he was being nice and not blaming everything on me. It’s now the wedding day and I’m not getting the excited, happy feeling I should be getting but I chalked it up to the nerves. He on the other had acted like the wedding was nothing! We should have been so lovey dovey and googily eyed at each other and he just kind of stood there with no emotion on his face. I also just chalked it up to nerves. Well after everything and now that he had tied me down the lovely dovey, googily eyed, over the fence world series kind of love never returned. He became very secretive. He always deleted all his text messages, always kept his phone with him, always yelled at me if I asked who he was texting. He kept calling me insecure just because I asked who he was texting and the fact that I would get upset if he pointed out how hot a girl was. BUT if I ever looked another guy’s way it was silent treatment for a few days! He always use to ask me who I was texting or talking to like it was his right to know but I wasn’t allowed to ask. Everything in the relationship became about him. We never got to do anything I wanted to do; only what he wanted to do! I started feeling depressed and crying all the time and my stomach was constantly messed up but I kept pretending like everything was ok, knowing something was very wrong. 2 months into our marriage after a night at my parents eating dinner he randomly came up to me and said he wanted a divorce. It just caught me by surprise. How can someone want a divorce after only 2 months of marriage?? He acted like it was no big deal to him and when I asked him why he said “because you’ve change.” When I asked for examples on how I’ve changed I got the silent treatment. After he moved back home we still talked but it was manly just him telling me how much I have hurt him and that I sucked him into this marriage and that I broke him and all that nonsense. On top of all that I was now getting messages from his sister telling me how wrong I was and that I hurt their entire family and I was such a bad person. She was pretty much just breaking me down a little more while she had the chance. We went a few weeks without talking and I gave in one night and texted him. He then went on to tell me how much happier he and his family were now that I’m not around and that I am nothing to him and that it’s my fault we ended. So after that night and after reading stories from here I went NC and have been NC for almost 4 months now. It has been the most mind fucking, heartbreaking, worst experience staying NC but I knew it was what had to be done. I am nowhere near being okay with this whole situation but I feel myself getting better and better. I finally decided to write this because while I was out this past Friday I saw him at the bar I was at with my friends. I completely ignored him. He kept looking at me, looking at my friends, kept walking right behind me and beside me and I did nothing. It was like he never existed in my life. I was very proud of myself but of course now my mind is spinning. I am just so ready for him to be off of my mind and out of my heart! I want to thank yall for reading this, I know it’s probably hard to follow but it’s hard to get all my thoughts and memories on tract. I definitely love this site because without it I would have never been able to learn as much as I have. Also I’m glad I went to see a therapist because as I told her my story she immediately told me what she thought he was and it was a big fat N. I will remain NC and keep everything blocked! I have come too far to start all over again!
Thank yall for everything,
Ashaney1