But what if my N was never mean

I posted my story on the Share Your Story forum but one thing that bothers me daily while I read most of the stories on here are these terrible stories of verbal and physical abuse by narcissists. My narcissist, while he did do horrible things to me (sending out multiple inappropriate pics to other girls while we were together, seeing another girl behind my back bc 'he is all about what is new and right in front of him, always keeping me there but pushing me away when I became too close), but when it came to me personally, he wasn't abusive. Quite the opposite. He has always told me how I was 'quality', how I was amazing and out of his league. It's insulting to me but he thought he was complimenting me when he would tell me that he'd always size me up to other girls and I'd be the best. He was my best friend and I felt so close to him for so long but he hurt me so badly. And even though I've initiated NC and have him blocked to my phone and FB, I still struggle. I know in my heart of hearts he's a narcissist - he fits almost all the characteristics but the main discrepancy is that he wasn't mean to my face, he was always sweet to me. He did all the shitty things behind my back. Has anyone else had this experience where their N wasn't abusive to them outwardly?