Guilt, pity and empathy

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#1 Sep 16 - 4AM
Empath_NL
Empath_NL's picture

Guilt, pity and empathy

My N used this emotions (which are rather strong in me) against me.

I felt guilty for letting him down, I felt sorry for him all the time (everybody was leaving him all the time, he told me). I didn't want to be like the others who left him.

He used my guilt, pity and empathy to lure me back in multiple times.

"I thought you were different" "Why is everyone leaving me" "You can help me" "How do you feel about yourself when you cause so much pain in me" "I really need you"

Many friends tell me that I am too nice sometimes, and that I'm very gullible. Especially when someone acts as a victim. When someone cries, I tear up almost instantly.

Well, I know it's probably not all noble. Part of me wants to be liked. But I know this must change in a way. I want off course not become a egomaniac of a douche-bag and stay a nice and 'good' person. But I need to keep my boundaries and pro. Do you have some advice that helped you. I'm also seeing a therapist. But he thinks that it's just my personality, but I just to set some better boundaries.

Sep 16 - 1PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

This is what we work on in my Support Groups