The power of shame

I have only begun to realize how much shame I carry and that narcs and their associates tap into it to control and manipulate (if one allows it of course). Any suggestions on how to deal with the feelings of shame when around narcs? I will be seeing ex narc and his gaggle of groupies soon - we share the name spiritual beliefs so seeing him is unavoidable. I have noticed that I fear feeling shame around him/them of his D/D of me.