4 years later, when I should have known better...Discarded again.

Hi everyone,

I used to post on this site a couple years ago, after realizing my ex bf was a narc. It took me a VERY long time to get over him, and then my life turned upside down when I was laid off my job for a year. I did some stupid things to break NC, which I am too embarrassed to mention right now. All of that wound up with us meeting for lunch at the end of May. He told me his live in GF broke up with him, and was in the process of moving out. Of course, everything was HER fault, and SHE was psycho, etc. I've heard stories like this from so many times from him before! So WHY, oh WHY did I end up in bed with him, telling him how much I always loved him???

We hooked up about 5 times total while he was in this transitional period with his last GF. One night in bed, i told him I thought he was a narc. He told me, "No, I think I am a sociopath". He seemed to be proud to state this. There I was, sleeping with the devil!

When his GF finally moved out, he totally dropped me. I haven't heard from him in over a month. And I have been NC since.

How could I have done this? Why did I think he might have changed? He's not the person I fell in love with. 4 years later and he is WORSE! A self-proclaimed sociopath!

Now I am left to try to figure out: What the Hell is Wrong With Me?????
Why did I give him the chance to D&D me again?

I am seeing a therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse. I really hope she can help me figure myself out. Because it's not his fault. It's mine.

Thanks for reading. XOXO.

Sunny