I cannot believe that I survived one "N" and fell into the arms of another!

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#1 Aug 13 - 10PM
Mommabear7112
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I cannot believe that I survived one "N" and fell into the arms of another!

I am brand new to this site, and I never thought that I would fall for another narc, however I was dead wrong. I signed up today, not because of my physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive 11 year relation-shit with my ex husband, but because of my recent relation-shit with another man. Thank God we were not together long, it didn't take long to see it, I have wonderful friends that I didn't have the first time around. So I have to be grateful for them. I am, but I have not been grateful, here lately, because of the recent narc that fell into my lap and whom I fell in love with. Here is my story with the most recent devastation, but I will still go back to the first, since it was immense the first time, and undoubtably brought me to where I am today. On a side note, the above is what I like to refer to when I am talking about a relationship that was total shit. Don't mean to offend anyone, so if you are easily offended... this is my disclaimer... it's about to get real. This is my heart and I will proceed to pour out into cyberspace.

So it was June 6, 2014 that I was working an event at work. I was working at a hotel, and under new management I was required to work my Friday night away to host an event for the Shriners. I was working so much overtime and for little pay. I was exhausted, but was happy that I was serving the Shriners. They are one of my favorite organizations, and I have donated money to them for charity work they do, and boy, do they! I was having fun shmoozing the guys and their wives, they were more than grateful and Lot's of fun!! We had a beer tasting that night and so after helping host that, I clocked out and was told I was aloud to partake in the festivities, that I was invited to. It was for ceremonials, and they were all pretty waisted by the time they got to the hotel. The party was in full swing and we had a slight issue, so I helped put the food away in our back kitchen. As I was helping one of the shriners who graciously kissed my hand earlier that night, and whom was dealing with the issue as well, we made small talk. All of sudden in bursts a hyper man in a pink shrine collared shirt unbuttoned with a shirt underneath. He was wearing his funny fez on his head and he had a swag that I could not resist. He looks at me, and says, "Ooooh Hello Sexy Seniorita!" and I just laughed at him, and continued helping Don, and he continued on with his, Hey sexy seniorita, and laughing. Now, normally, that would never have worked! I would have shrugged him off or gave him a weird look. I might have even given him a dirty look lol, but for whatever reason I was not annoyed, or weirded out... I thought he was adorable. So we walked back to the banquet room and Don poured me a drink. Inside, was the rest of my new acquaintances, and the Narc. We were having a drink at the bar, and he just swept me off my feet. He asked me all about myself and said how beautiful I was, mind you he was drunk, and he even placed his fez on my head and said, "Damn you look so sexy in that!" I didn't know at the time, but, boy did he get shit for that one! I just laughed, because it was so funny!

So as the night went on, he ended up kissing me, and I kissed him back. The first kiss was so sweet and loving, I could feel it. It was like kissing my ex husband for the first time. A feeling I haven't felt since I was sixteen, and kissed him for the first time. I knew it then, and I should have ran away! But I stayed and got to know almost everything about him that night, and he got to know all of me, too. As a matter of fact, he ended up in my hotel room, a chance I would never have taken at my job, but somehow he had me. I mean I was a sales manager for fuck's sake! I have a 12 year old, who needs money and stability, but it was so real and comfortable I took the chance. The next morning I was really glad that I did! He was so sweet, and said that he would have invited me to their dance, but he had his son, Z, who is 3 and special needs. That struck a cord with me, because I used to work with people/children with special needs. I have always loved them, and wanted to be a special ed teacher since high school. I honestly thought that we were even more meant to be because of that.

We ended up hitting it off and were with each other almost everyday. He initiated 90% of it. He told me he loved me first, that he wanted to marry me, and that we could be a family. He told me that he would love me like no other. He even asked me to meet his son, on week one. He introduced me to his family, and even waited for me to get off work on a saturday so that I could join him at the lake at his uncle's place. Things were going great, but there was the occasional outburst from his ex girlfriend, his son's mother. She would ask him if he was seeing someone, and she knew about from day one, because her dad is a shriner, and they were told at the dance, that he had met me. They were really happy for him. I noticed that whenever she said jump, his response was how high? and it did bother me a bit, I mean this girl cheated on him while he was on the road, trying to provide for their family, and she married the guy who ended up giving her a VD. I suppose after she found that out she asked to take the Narc back. In my opinion, they are BOTH Narcs! She is ultra controlling and even ruined our 4th of july weekend with Z at the lake, when she called and said that he had two hours to get Z home, when it was his weekend. He ended up crying with Z in his lap, and me feeling helpless. He ended up going to sleep early, and waking up first thing in the morning to get him back to town. He seemed pretty distant that morning, and I was convinced it was stress, but now I know what it was, it was his wounded ego. The fact that his ex was threatening him, and that he had to face her and lie about me. Which, by the way, I was not to be talked about, and after all, "we were not serious, and in the event that we were we were, he would let her meet me." Oh and I was not to be around Z, because, I forgot to mention, that when she found out about me, for real, she flipped a lid!

How she found out about us, he had picked me up from work, and we were heading over to get Z. BUT I was not allowed to ride along. He was going to drop me off at Mc Donald's. Since I didn't want to cause a fight or ruin our night, or whats worse, him not be able to have, Z. So I got dropped off and gave him a kiss. I went in, used the bathroom, and browsed the red box. As I was perusing the selection, he texts me and says he is here. I stopped and went outside to find him circling the parking lot, not leisurely, but angrily. So I waited and he pulled up and he was mad! He was all worked up! He said that his ex's sister seen him drop me off, and seen us kiss, and that he almost didn't get to see his son. He proceeded to call her again and again when she would hang up on him. He told her we were not serious and that we just started dating, and that was true. He had no reason to answer to her, but he did and I couldn't understand why he was so worried. He had Z. I asked him if he wanted to take me home, and he said no. I stayed all night. We were so close I already had a bunch of shower stuff at his house, a toothbrush, and some other things. That was the wake up call that told me that I wasn't the only women on his mind. I also found out later that he still had FB pics of his ex on there. Him and her, and her with Z. Talk about a red flag!

Things just kept getting worse, because I lost my job, and I found a better one, but the way he treated me when I needed his support was piss poor compared to all I did to support him. Even compromising my own feelings. No, matter to him. I was fighting with my ex Narc, the man who trapped me and waisted my life, whom I have a 12 year old with, and I got upset and a little tipsy and G was being unsupportive and mean to me... basically indifferent. I dressed in a teddy and was smoking a cig. He caught me crying over my ex in the garage while smoking and he came out, looked at me, closed the door, went to his bedroom, and closed that door too. Something he had never done. I thought I was locked out. I tried to sleep on the couch, but being super stressed and having PTSD I just got the urge to go home. I went in his room, and I knelt by his bed and asked him to please take me home. I grabbed up all my things and we left. That was the first thing he was able to use against me to blame me, to discard me.

Well, he started treating me bad, giving me the silent treatment, ignoring me.
He would say that I am not allowed to be around Z, and that he couldn't handle me, but if he didn't have a child with special needs that he would take me on, no problem. I felt so small. I kept trying to be better, do better, but it didn't get better. In fact, it got so much worse that he "played a joke on me" I had not seen him in a week, and barely talked to him. Lots of no replys or no phone call back, no answer. We had plans for sunday. I waited all day to text him because he said that I was bothering him, and if I left him alone he would give me a chance. So I let him be... well later Sunday night, I texted him to see what was up? I asked how he was and I said good and I asked how his fishing trip was, and he said good. I asked him if he used my tackle box, because I had some good stuff. He said, "no you don't" I was like ok lol so what are you doing? he replied that he was at the bar with 2 25 and 26 year old girls who were hot and blonde. He proceeded to tell me how he was going to bring them home and build them a fire, and how they told him that he couldn't have one of them without the other. another direct quote... "They are buying me beers, and you are ruining it" all through text and all the while not answering my phone calls. Well the next day I got blamed for, "blowing up his phone" and that I was "cray cray" and he was only kidding, and I should know him better by now, his sense of humor, and that he would never do that to anyone. He continued to ignore me, and so I finally got the courage to end it. But little did I know, I was dumb founded and lost and missed him like crazy. I never wanted to end it, but I just didn't want to hurt anymore. I just wanted the pain to stop, but there was no release. Just feelings of regret, shame, hurt, and WTF!? just happened and why do I feel so guilty?

We had our weekly sales meeting at work and we watched an inspirational/sad/uplifting video at the end of it, and let me tell you, there wasn't a dry eye in the house! I went outside to have a smoke and I texted 3 people. Well, I take that back, I texted my daughter while I was walking down the stairs with clouded eyes, almost fell. :O/ lol But yes two people. My roommate who is my best friend and him. I told him that I was sorry about how it ended and that I wanted to be friends. We started talking again after that. He asked me out and when it came for D day, I rushed home to get ready. I put a pound of make-up on and I never really wear it. I wanted to look good. He was supposed to be here at 5 so I was out smoking, waiting, and playing bejewled. I sat and waited and at 20 past 5, I called him. He said that he had to meet about his new duplex, in town, he lives 20 mins out, and so he had to take care of it. I told him it was all good. Then he said he would text me when he was close. I went inside and talked to my roommate's mom about news and family and was waiting for his text. The next one I got was that he had been by twice and I was not there and that his phone died and he was back home again... oh and in the shower. My trained response was OMG I am so sorry! Dang you are home? and then I asked if he rang the bell. He said no he sat there for 10 mins. He was lying but of course I wanted to believe him. Even my roommate was so pissed at me for sticking up for him! That was another thing, that was the icing on the cake. Now my best friend thinks I am a fool. For a man who treats me so badly and how my ex husband was... it was like... ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT!!?? Come on now!

Anyways, he swears he was here and that he can't believe that he was gonna try again. "what was I thinking" " you blew up my phone for a month" blah blah blah. Word vom! and I am so grateful that I can vent on a site like this, where people know how I feel. Please help me get over him and Thank You for reading! Did I mention I am long-winded? LOL :O)

Aug 14 - 8AM
spinning
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Welcome, Mamabear,

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