Cannot believe I am back in this hell!

I found this sight almost one year ago to get some sanity and understanding in what I was going through. I met my narc in 2010 and could not even count all the red flags I was shown. I have since been spinning and under the control of him. I am a shell of the woman I once was and the damage has rippled to my family friends and coworkers. It was about this time last year, he left me and my 3 girls (he is not their father) when he was out of all his legal trouble and financially capable. All of the promises of marriage and a new home went out the door with him. I had been self medicating with alcohol to deal with the emotional abuse and that was his ticket to go. Not soon after, I found out he was seeing someone new. I was completely devastated and became obsessed with the thought of it. I stalked and cried and drank myself into darkness, ignoring my daughter's needs and falling further and further into a depression. I isolated from everyone that cared about me and went to the darkest place of my life. He never went more than a week without contact. Always complaining about the new GF and easily getting me in bed to satisfy his needs. Every time it was the same story, 2-3 days later he would leave after promising the world. He used excuse after excuse.. This continued through the fall and the holidays. He was never able to pull the trigger and spend a holiday with her family and usually kept me on the phone for most of those days. Finally in February, I hit rock bottom with my drinking and checked myself into rehab across the country. I had no contact with him for the first 14 days I was there and just assumed he would be back with the new girl. When I finally was allowed to get calls, he was RELENTLESS. Telling me how much he missed me, loved me and had to have me back. He called all day everyday until I caved foolishly thinking we had a chance. While I was there my ex husband took custody of my home and children, leaving me homeless. He immediately jumped at the chance of us living together. He flew me home and we stayed a short time in his apt. then he rented/leased a condo 5 minutes from my girls and started a life of happiness and friendship. Well within 2 months we are back in the same place. His excuses of why we cannot be together range from, I am unattractive, to his kids and exwife hate me, to the fact that he will NEVER be happy. He admits his personality disorder. I showed him the traits of a narcissist and he sees it it true. Therefore his mask is off, and his exposure is causing him to move on to another supply. In the last month he has slept home only a handful of nights, leaving me alone wondering where he is and with whom. He gloats and totally disregards my agony. I have 60 days until I can return to my home and kids. But I am so afraid of the pain I will endure until then. I am trying to stay sober, go to therapy and put it all out of my head, but it is torture at times. How could I have been so STUPID?!