How do you love your narcissist?

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#1 Jul 9 - 11AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

How do you love your narcissist?

As a child looking for daddy's approval or as a grown woman of self esteem and self actualization in love with a man who walks by your side and is worthy of your deepest admiration, respect, and trust?

So many fall in love with the idea of a person or become hooked by the lacking of what they receive as opposed to what they are actually receiving.

Denial is the mothership for many addicted to a relationship with a narcissist.

Frequently hear: but I love him or her.

Ok.

What exactly do you love so much about them?

Well, I love what they were in the beginning?

Ok.

What about now?

Many turn to tears and sorrow at this point.

Well, I love what I want them to be.

Ok.

Is this what you are receiving?

No.

Now what?

Many get stuck, hooked, addicted to what they want from a relationship as opposed to what they are actually receiving from the relationship.

Denial sets in.

Denial that it's not so bad.

Denial that one day things are going to be better or different.

Denial that narcissists can change.

Wishful, fantasy, hopeful thinking.

Many believe that all things are possible like in a Hollywood Disney movie.

How's that thinking working for you?

Some become obsessed with their other conquests. OW OM. Other supply.

As though butchering yourself over not being good enough has anything what so ever to do with their disorder.

When all is said and done and you have tortured yourself with jealousy and self inflicted pain.....for hours, days, and months....

Has anything regarding who and what they are changed?

The better question than. How do I love thee....

Might be....

How do I not like thee.....

I don't like thee's lying, cheating, using and self serving ways for starters.

A stance of empowerment is not:

How do they not love me?

What am I doing wrong?

Will they change for new supply?

Will they be hoovering soon?

And so on.......

It's, how do I not like thee's horrific treatment of ME!!!!!!

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 - 1861
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Many romantic poems, songs, books, and movies often contribute to keeping us stuck.

Do you really still love your narcissist?

Or.

Are you hooked on potential?

The notion of someone else benefitting from all of your hard work?

What exactly is this love you feel for your narcissist all about?

How do I love thee?

How do I not like thee's behaviors towards me?

Take off the rose colored glasses while you are answering these questions for you.

Together and Healing,
Goldie

Jul 9 - 6PM
strikeapose
strikeapose's picture

Spot on, thanks!