Why do he think he owns me??

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#1 Jun 30 - 2PM
Medi7384
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Why do he think he owns me??

I have written on here many times before. This website has really helped me and I finally feel as though I'm being heard and that the people on this website understand me and understand what I've been going through. I still struggle though and being pregnant definitely makes it harder to think rationally and make the right decisions. I'm still stuck in the same abusive cycle but I'm finally finding the strength to leave. I am guilty of falling back into the same trap again though. My ex/kids father showed signs of changing. He was more attentive towards me and the pregnancy and even enrolled in a pharmacy tech program. Shortly after enrollment he made the commitment to slow down on his excessive marijuana smoking and he always vowed to stop becoming intoxicated. In the beginning his promises seemed promising. Then he started complaining and threatened to drop out of school because he received two bad grades on work assignments. He refuses to study and shows absolutely no dedication. Then, he told me he would slow down on smoking this week. He hasn't, he's still smoking just as much as he always has. He's just been doing a better job at hiding it from me but I know the signs. On Thursday I had to go to the hospital due to preterm contractions. I told him what hospital I would be at and he promised to come stay with me after he left work because I was alone in the hospital. He never called nor sent me a text attempting to come visit me. The next day he called me and told me that he was sick and vomiting so he couldn't go to work. I asked him numerous times he he was throwing up because he was drinking the previous night. He assured me that he wasn't and that he had gotten good poisoning from something he had eaten the previous day. I gave him the benefit of doubt and believed him. The next day I saw pictures he was tagged in on Facebook of him and his friends drinking bottles after bottles of vodka, and throwing up gang signs. To make matters worst they posted a video on Facebook of all of them drinking excessively by placing the bottles to their heads, cursing, using sexually obscene language, and again throwing up gang signs. His friend had his small children aged 5-8 holding the phone videotaping all of this. I was immediately disgusted because as a father he should know better than to behave that way around any children. When I confronted him he told me that their mother didn't have a problem with it so neither did he. The next day was my baby shower, and of course he made absolutely no efforts to show up. All he did was make excuses that it was too far away for him to travel when it was being held on 35 minutes from where he was. During the last week he was also telling me that he wanted us to get back together and make things work. Then he would threaten me, belittle me, and constantly call me names such as whore, and bitch because I have a male friend at work. He would also tell me that I had no business talking to another male and that I was lucky he wasn't in front of me because he didn't know what he would do to me. This went on for days. Him constantly yelling at me and telling me I was a bad mother for even thinking of having another man in my life. He also threatened to do something to the guy and report or relationship to my job (even though were just friends) because according to him it was unprofessional. He told me that he didn't care about my feelings, only his feelings mattered. About two days after him acting this way he changed drastically. He didn't care about me hanging out with my friend and told me that he wouldn't report anything. It was crazy, he was okay with something just a few days before wanted to kill me for. I started to suspect that it was because he was seeing someone because he is only okay with me moving on if he's doing the same. Then I found out that he was seeing someone he goes to school with. I confronted him about how he thought it was okay to emotionally abuse and threaten me when he was doing the same. I told him that I was tired of him and that it wasn't okay for him to only allow me to move forward when he decided it was okay. This is a constant cycle, he always behaves this way. He again started calling me horrible names and telling me I was a b*tch and to go away and suck his d*ck. He kept on yelling and screaming at me, even after I told him to keep it down because the kids could hear him he wouldn't. He called a few hours later and told me that I made him upset and I should blame myself because he was tired of me always causing the same problems. Again he didn't apologize he just placed all the blame on me. The next day I went to my Docter and was admitted because I was having contractions. I text him
To let him know and his response was that he would try to come in a few hours because he was busy going to play basketball with his friend. So basically going to play basketball was more important than me going to the hospital. Later that day he called to yell at me and threaten me because he noticed that I had a conversation with one of his friends. This conversation was a year old and I never said anything disrespectful. The guy was trying to be friendly and simply asked me how the kids were. I have never given my kids father a reason to believe I was untrustworthy but he always accuses me of disrespecting him with other men. He told me that he was calling his friend and they were going to come to my house that night with weapons. I tried to tell him that nothing even slightly disrespectful happened yet he refused to listen and hung up on me. The next day he calls like nothing happened and told me that he just wanted to be there for me and the kids. I became upset because I found out that he was spending money on getting his hair braided when he told me he didn't have any money to come and see the kids. I questioned him about this and told me that his friends girlfriend had braided his hair for him. I knew he was lying and told me that I knew he was lying and didn't understand why he couldn't be honest with me. He finally admitted that some girl he knew did it for him. Again I got upset because god forbid I have a male around me yet he can do whatever he wants. Almost like he owns me. So I finally made the decision to leave. It's hard because I'm going to give birth any day now and I don't really have a support system, but I will seriously go insane for allowing this person to remain in my life.

Jul 1 - 12PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Medi, sounds like you are completely losing your peace of mind

Jul 1 - 10PM (Reply to #11)
Medi7384
Medi7384's picture

I appreciate everyone's

Jul 2 - 5PM (Reply to #13)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Medi

Jul 3 - 8AM (Reply to #14)
spinning
spinning's picture

Wow...just

spinning

Jul 2 - 1AM (Reply to #12)
antoinetteb
antoinetteb's picture

Think of your children, please

Jul 1 - 9AM
spinning
spinning's picture

Medi...I surely hope

spinning

Jul 1 - 7AM
Willow
Willow's picture

After reading (and

Jul 1 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Well said willow. Medi, what

Jun 30 - 8PM
pumpkinpie
pumpkinpie's picture

Why? You have posted often,

Jun 30 - 7PM
kitequeen
kitequeen's picture

There are so many things

Jun 30 - 7PM
ItsFinallytime
ItsFinallytime's picture

Why does he think he owns

Jun 30 - 7PM
Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

You

Pumpkin

Jun 30 - 4PM
lessonlearned
lessonlearned's picture

well

Jun 30 - 3PM
Journey
Journey's picture

Um, what was your question?

Journey on...