Checking in... love the reading

Hello all!

I'm just checking in. I read often to gain strength as my xN is out and about and working his deal. He lives in the area I live in and sometimes shows up at recovery meetings I go to, so I have to really work this program here to be able to deal with that fact, because it is my reality... for now anyways.

I had accidental breakage of NC just in passing at a meeting. Nothing much. Still, just a shudder thinking "yuck". He got my cell # and sent texts after the 14 billion email attempts were all blocked. So those got blocked the best I could. He never calls. NEVER CALLS. I find this perculiar but a total part of his pattern that I have always known.

He dated another woman in our circles.... I prayed for her. During that time, he left me alone. Then that's when the texts started.

But I am like DS says - indifferent. I sort of feel nothing. I feel like "oh bother, go away knat on the ass of humanity".

I am coming around on 2 years Narc free. it is good. And I still swear to the fact that I learned SO MUCH on this website from the people here and the support I got. I have been able to take that knowledge and apply it to other people and to myself and really trully become a different person. It's not always easy. I have some pretty instilled traits that I am working on but it's getting better. And I feel great.

I haven't dated anyone seriously, but I've been on dates. I don't have any urges in either direction. I am almost done with school. I am writing my capstone and will be done on August 20th, and this site and you people kept me strong to get through that degree with 2 young kids, being a single mother and working full time. I kept my focus where it was supposed to be. and it's summer so we are off on our road trip at the end of this week and then our week at the lake in August.

To all the newcomers here. Welcome! This program works if you work it. I am living proof. I rolled around in narcville for 4 years. and then managed to find other sort of semi-soulsuckers too..... I worked the steps and worked on me. I continue to work on me. And every day it gets better. I really enjoy living again. It took me a really long time to get here.

Grateful to be free!
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