I feel so tired

Update- I have been in the house with all three kids since Saturday. I am going to therapy and reaching out to family. The restraining order is still in affect.
I can am going today to apply for help. We may have to stay in a shelter and apply for housing as this is his house.

I can barely even think about being pregnant. There is just to much going on. I literally want to stay in bed all day and sleep through this mess, But I cant. I am pushing myself. I know he thinks he is just going to come back and we will make up. Yes that would be easier to do. But I cannot go through the abuse any more. I am so tired. So lost and so ready to give up.

I though about trying to stay in our home and having him leave. But I have very little income and don't really know how to do that? Our lease is month to month so there is a chance I could do it but can I afford it? no.

I keep telling myself " you can do this" today I will take a shower and do my hair. I will put on make up and go to social services and get help. I can no longer be the Dog that keeps going back.

I wish, oh how I wish these people didn't exist in the world. I wish I never got into this mess. I need to regain my strength, my dignity, block out the voices and stop being afraid.