Happy to report....

Indifference towards the N/P -- it really does exist!!! I was so hurt, so sad, so angry, had such obsessive thoughts about what the psychopath said and did to me for the longest time that to be honest, I wasn't sure if this was possible. But it is!!!

I posted an update on June 2, 2013 - it was the first day I worked with the psychopath after discard. It went pretty good but I was still anxious and not indifferent. It still stirred up some emotions in me. Since then, I've had some text hoovers, bumped into him and OW and the whole circus act that comes with that and have done ok. Nothing terribly triggering but it still gets me thinking a bit about his / their craziness and it kind of just annoys me.

There was a rumor that the psychopath lost yet another job which meant I would probably run into him more often. Well, I had totally forgotten about that. I pulled into work and there was his truck. No racing heart, no excitement, no dread. I walk in and he is walking towards me with a client and says hi. I say good morning to him and the client and walk on. Again, no physical or emotional reaction. Throughout the day, he tried to get me to unnecessarily interact with him but I could see it from a mile away. I wasn't angry, irritated, or sad. I really felt nothing for him. I didn't really get a good look at him so I couldn't tell you if he looked the same or any different than last year. I didn't look for any clues as to what he may be up to. I didn't hear any of the conversations he was having with any one (and you know they love to talk, lol!).

If I am honest with my myself, for a long time, there was part of me that wanted to see him. To see what he was up to. To see who he was with. To see if he was happy. To get that hoover and to be strong enough to ignore it and magically think that he'd somehow be hurt by me ignoring him. To see him so he could see how well I was doing. Etc, etc. But for some time now, I have been done with those feelings and thoughts and I think today proved it. I no longer care. I have learned from that terrible relationshit with the psychopath. He was a lesson and he is now irrelevant to me. I am no longer bonded to him and I am free. It is possible to become indifferent towards a person who was so abusive and hurtful towards you. Keep walking forward and you too will get there :) Hugs and strength to you all!!