Bad Shape.... Rock Bottom

Hi all,
I am new to this.... Wrote my story and just got done with my goodbye letter. The emotional wreckage is actually unbearable at this particular moment.... I feel like it is actually my rock bottom.... Like I tortured myself being with this inhuman being for almost 2 years, in a fake relationship... I always knew it was, but stayed in the game... He was possibly the WORST possible case scenario.... That is probably why I had to have him.... To further devalue myself, because of all the past pain I still seem to have deep down.... I am 56 years old.... I certainly am an intelligent woman, but........... the flipside is I am a major Co-Dependent.... Always trying to fix people, things, rescue... etc.... Never trying fix me.... Wow.... The pain is really deep this time, and I am allowing myself to feel it.... I am using this site at my therapy... I really hope one day soon, I can help others here, and turn my Co-Dependent skills for the good or woman and mankind....
Hugs to all out there that are suffering or are strong and steady !!!
lifeisbutadream