Do they ever really go away?

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#1 May 8 - 1PM
FinnegansWake
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Do they ever really go away?

I read an old post that I can't find now. It was about an N-Ex interfering in a marriage. The writer was questioning if she could really love her husband, if she could really love anyone who was normal. The post brought me to tears. I've thought about it all morning. That same circumstance is why I'm here trying to free myself once and for all.

My Ex, who I have had to see and talk to because of my son, has been hovering and mind-gaming me for years - 14 years - about not really loving my husband with the same passion that I loved him. Here I am trying to talk about braces and summer camp and he's winking, trying to touch my hand and convince me that he's the better man, and his rhetoric really screws with my head. YES, I have already gone NC and blocked everything that I can block.

I know the intensity of the two relationships are not the same - not even close. There were long(hours and hours)of intimate conversations with my EX that don't exist in my marriage (he called it "contemplating the universe"). There was connectedness, someone who finishes my sentences kind of thing - does not exist in my marriage. And sex pales in comparison (well... because the N had so freaking much practice).

I thought I LOVED my Ex. I thought that man knew everything and walked on water. I know that isn't love, I do, but I don't think I know how to be happy with normal.

I have started wondering in recent years if I actually love my husband.

It's like the narc is still ruining my life and he's not even my mate anymore.

FW

May 8 - 7PM
Taralynn
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Finnegan

May 8 - 5PM
Journey
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Finnegan, after reading your

Journey on...

May 8 - 2PM
spinning
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Finnegan, I give you

spinning

May 9 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
Hunter
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Journey/ Spinning

May 9 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
FinnegansWake
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Thank you, Everyone

May 12 - 4PM (Reply to #14)
tiredofthisaddiction
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Be prepared for contact

May 11 - 5AM (Reply to #5)
Lacey
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He'll contact you

May 11 - 11PM (Reply to #12)
MeFirst
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Please don't say that!!!!!

May 12 - 8AM (Reply to #13)
ItsFinallytime
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They don't all come back,

May 11 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
FinnegansWake
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LOL

May 11 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
Goldie
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How about some kindness to yourself for a change?

May 11 - 12PM (Reply to #8)
FinnegansWake
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;-)

May 11 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
Goldie
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I'm not convinced you do

May 11 - 1PM (Reply to #11)
FinnegansWake
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Thanks, Goldie

May 11 - 12PM (Reply to #10)
FinnegansWake
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Lights on

May 9 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
13Moons13
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Finnegan, please join