Masquerade

Last Saturday night I was out with some friends, and I heard an old song I hadn't heard in years. It was by Karen Carpenter, called This Masquerade. Since then the song has been like an "earworm", winding in and out of my consciousness. When I was reading some posts in the last few days, I thought of the lyric again. I think the experience we had with the N('s) in our life was very like this lyric -- they were definately wearing a mask, but in a way, we were pretending too. We were acting like everything was ok, we were acting like we were living a grand life, a happy life. We were acting out someone else's expectations.

In this Fakebook world, we are all too consumed with the appearance of things. We follow the lives of celebrities and actors and actresses as if our lives are only a step away from theirs. I don't know about the rest of the group, but I can't even afford to pay what many of these "Rich and Famous" women pay for a purse, or a haircut. I really don't care who is sleeping with whom, or how many houses they have, or whether or not they forgot to wear underwear when they went out to the latest party. But every day I stand in line at the supermarket, or watch the news, or read a magazine, I see these people and "learn" about their lives. Many of them do such unbelievably stupid things, and then act so surprised when there are bad consequences. I wonder how they can possibly get into those situations? Then I remember some of the stupid things I've done, and believed, and situations I have gotten into. Because I wasn't being authentic -- with myself or anyone else. I didn't set out to hurt or abuse anyone, I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do -- but I was living out someone else's expectation.

When I figured it out, I had to make some drastic changes in the way I do things, and I had to examine my belief structure and get rid of anything that wasn't authentic to me. This took some time and was a lot of hard work. I sought help. I read, and read, and read. This isn't something you just "know", and it isn't something you do all by yourself. Seeing others as they REALLY are is often not a pretty site.

Sooner or later the Masquerade is over. Sooner or later the mask comes off, and the performance ends. When you know you are living your life in a way that you don't have to hide behind a mask, you won't want to be with someone who needs to wear his mask every day. You won't worry about what anyone is doing, but you.

Here are the lyrics:

Are we realy happy with this lonley game we play,
looking for the right words to say.
searching but not finding,
understanding anyway.
we're lost in this masquerade.
Both afraid to say we're just to far away, from being close together from the start.
we tried to talk it over but the words got in the way.
we're lost inside this lonley game we play.
Thoughts of leaving disapear each time i see your eyes,
and no matter how hard i try.
to understand the reasn why we carry on this way.
We're lost in this masquerade.

Maybe this "earworm" melody will get inside your head and help you find a little peace and contentment. I hope it helps! Take care and good luck!