Contact = Pain

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#1 Apr 24 - 7AM
CamaroGirl
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Contact = Pain

CONTACT = PAIN

Why can't I get this concept through my mind? CONTACT = PAIN!

I really wanted to post last night but am having difficulty accessing this site from my home computer and had to wait to get to work this morning to post. I had a really rough night, and needed everyone's support on here.

I had a really good couple of days with NC. It actually felt good to be in control for once. I didn't have to respond to any hoover, and it was nice. But I did. We are still working logistics of a car that we co-leased so I couldn't completely block him right now. We exchanged constant contact via texts and emails over the course of like 2 days. I even started to question and second guess myself, like you all have done, that maybe I have labeled him wrong. He sent me some photos of myself on different trips we took together and reminded me of all the good times we had together. But then all of a sudden yesterday around noon the messages just stopped. No warning, just stopped. I didn't understand because we were having really nice conversations, it wasn't like we were arguning or anything. So I waited until around 7:00 p.m. and I texted "I lost you today" and he responded "Hugh???". Then I replied "Nevermind, it's all good". Then he replied "I don't know what your problem is". And then there was nothing more....just dead air space. Right there and then a light bulb went off "again". It's gone off a couple other times, but then the light bulb always seems to fade. So now the rest of the night I felt like crap. Why did I put myself through this pain again? I really feel like I let myself down. I put him in control again. Why did I do this? I just need to keep getting it through my mind that CONTACT = PAIN. It 100% means this every single time!

Thank you for listening. I just needed to really vent last night, but am glad I can do so this morning and maybe get my day off to a good start and not dwell on this mistake that I have made and move forward with starting the NC once again.

Apr 25 - 4PM
thebigpayback
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you are only out a few weeks.

Apr 25 - 10AM
JenetteisFree
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No matter what!

Apr 25 - 10AM
Brandnewme
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Just for Kicks

Apr 24 - 4PM
Done sourcing
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He will never have control

Apr 24 - 8PM (Reply to #18)
CamaroGirl
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Thank you for your kind

Apr 24 - 9PM (Reply to #19)
Done sourcing
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You'll get this thing if you

Apr 24 - 7AM
Hunter
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Did you think We make this

Apr 24 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
CamaroGirl
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Well unfortunatly I can not

Apr 24 - 12PM (Reply to #16)
MeFirst
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Not buying it here.......

Apr 24 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
Hunter
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Ok if you say so. I've leased

Apr 24 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
CamaroGirl
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Ok so how do you get out of a

Apr 24 - 8AM (Reply to #15)
Janie53
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CG

Apr 24 - 8AM (Reply to #9)
Hunter
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That's for you to discuss

Apr 24 - 9AM (Reply to #10)
CamaroGirl
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I actually did buy the book

Apr 24 - 9AM (Reply to #11)
Hunter
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Great.. I guess I know

Apr 24 - 11AM (Reply to #12)
CamaroGirl
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Did I say that you knew

Apr 24 - 4PM (Reply to #14)
Hunter
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Funny, I just re read your

Apr 24 - 12PM (Reply to #13)
Ophelia Standin...
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Hi Camaro Girl...

Apr 24 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
CamaroGirl
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And just so everyone knows

Apr 24 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

You have a payoff on a lease.

Apr 25 - 7AM (Reply to #5)
CamaroGirl
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That's what I'm currently

Apr 25 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
ItsFinallytime
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That's great that you have