It has been a year now

I wrote an e mail to my abuser march of 2013 and told him to delete me. I have not seen him since Nov of 2012. I am still having some days of obsession and understanding this is the path of finding myself again. I joined a group last fall and got confirmation and validation that the man I met was manipulative and not good for my sanity. I also learned how dysfunctional my own parents were and how I have been taught that my needs did not matter. What is hardest now is staying with the feelings .. Boredom as if my life will not amount to anything and self sabotage in re engineering my present life. I don't miss him but I sure do not like being in this uncomfortable place.. What is next and how do I find meaning and joy. Truth begins Today tells me that peace is around the corner if I just do the work.. And that is a hope I have.. But some days I feel that I am stuck and will never get out of feeling small and unloveable.